Monday, December 29, 2014

Accountability, Encouragement, Support and a System to Succeed?!

Ok, friends, it's the time of year to think about New Year's Resolutions!  Christmas has passed and New Years Eve will be here before we know it!  Did you know that each year, 45% of people make New Year's resolutions? Know what is at the top of the resolution list each year?  Weight loss.  You guessed it!

How many of you have made a resolution to go to the gym more?  Eat better?  Eat less? Drink more water at the start of a new year? And, how many of you have not followed through on those resolutions just a few weeks later?  {Me, me, me, me....I have been there done that for sure!}  


I am super excited in these few weeks we have been on break, I have been re-vamping my challenge group content to make them better than they were last year!  I am super excited about what my challengers are going to get from participating in a group!  I'm starting my new group on Monday, January, 5 and would love for you to JOIN us!


Why do those people I mentioned above {myself included, remember?} not follow through on their goals?  Why do they not keep going?  For me, I had a few reasons.  One being lack of a program.  I didn't know what to do at the gym, so I walked, did the elliptical and I got really daring once and did a group fitness class!  Did I learn what I needed to be eating?  NO.  Did I learn how much water I should drink?  NO.  Did I have any support, encouragement or motivation?  NO.  I didn't even know anyone in the class, which made it even more lonely.  The fitness instructor wasn't checking in on me to see how I was doing, if I had any questions or needed anything.  Then, when I had been going for a week or two and not seeing results, I was discouraged!  What did I do when I was discouraged?  Emotionally eat or get a Starbucks drink, of course!  That will make me feel better, right?  It might have for the moment, but really it undid any sort of progress I was making at the gym.

Last February, I did a program called the 21 Day Fix and it literally changed my life and opened my eyes to so many things.  Here are some of the lessons I learned:

1. 80% of results come from nutrition.  20% is exercise.  I always thought I could eat like crap then exercise it off.  NOPE.  80% is based on what goes into your mouth!  80%  I was shocked!


2. I need a program in place.  I like routine and being told what to do and how to do it {in terms of fitness and nutrition, that is!}  I was thankful for a nutrition guide that came with the program that told me WHAT to eat and the containers that told me HOW MUCH to eat.  I also learned WHEN to eat.  I also got a workout calendar that told me what workout to do when.  Having a system all laid out that I did not have to create, research, look on Pinterest for was a huge benefit to me!  I could just follow it and be on my way.

3. I need support!  Having an accountability group where I was getting information, education, support, motivation and advice was awesome!  This is really what helped me I think.  I had to be accountable for my actions and it was powerful!

4. Shakeology is truly the real deal.  I will admit, after trying multiple shakes over the years, I was skeptical of Shakeology.  But, after trying it, combined with clean eating, exercise and proper water intake, I can honestly say I feel the best I have felt in my whole life.  I know my body is getting what it needs and that I am truly fueling it, rather than stuffing it with junk to keep me going. From someone who used to be a caffeine, sugar, carb addicted gal, this is a huge change for me!  I feel great!  I have energy to not just get through the days, but to enjoy them and THRIVE.  My mid afternoon slump is gone, my cravings are gone and it ensures I'm getting what I need nutritionally for the day. It is nutrition that I wasn't getting before.  I am healthier, I perform better during my workouts and I don't need a multivitamin now.  This is not a protein shake or even a weight loss shake.  It is a health shake.

As you can tell, 2014 has been a great year of working on myself and becoming the best me I can be. I feel like I'm at my peak, after having 2 kids.  {I'm not talking physically, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  A lot of this has to do with breaking free from the food bondage I was in, I believe.}  I want that for all of you too.  We have been given this great life, so are we living it?

Are you ready to experience this for yourself in 2015?  Great!  I'd love for you to join us :)
So here is the dealio!  I'm starting a 30 day fitness support and accountability through my online Facebook private page.  

The requirements are this:

You make me your coach by going to my site and creating a free profile which makes me your COACH!  

You contact me by completing the application below to be considered for a spot in the group.

Together we decide what fitness program will best meet your needs. You are required to do a Beachbody Fitness program {I will help you make the decision as to what fits you best}

You are required to replace Shakeology with 1 meal each day for the very best results.  My goal is to teach you how to plan and prepare the other meals of the day so that you get the results you are looking for. At the end of the 30 days the choice is yours to continue with Shakeology or not!

You must check in daily to the closed online group to rate your day, be accountable and engage in the group discussion of the day.

That's it!  You get to workout in your own home but be connected to me 24/7 for support, fitness, recipes, nutrition and tips!

I am committed to helping you get the very best results possible!  Are you ready to rock it?!?!  



Complete the application below to be considered for our January 5th start date!



Fill out my online form.


Online contact and registration forms from Wufoo.



Are We Confused About Our Hunger?

"You Are The One That We Praise, 
You Are The One We Adore.  
You Give the Healing and Grace Our Hearts Always Hunger For.  
Oh, Our Hearts Always Hunger For."  

This is a song we sang at church on a Sunday and it made me think about hunger.   What are we hungry for?  Are we hungry for the right things?  Are we confused about our hunger?   Let' talk about this, shall we?


Is it possible we have confused our spiritual hunger with physical hunger?  Is it possible that we have such a longing inside of us that isn't being filled spiritually that we are trying to fill it with the wrong things?  Are we trying to fill our Christ shaped void with posessions, relationships, food, etc.?  Those things will never satisfy because that void can only be filled by Christ.  We can chase everything until we have achieved, arrived, gotten everything that we think will satisfy, only to still feel unfulfilled, empty, hollow...you get the idea.


The other lyrics that struck me were these ~


"In the glory of your presence, I find rest for my soul.
In the depths of your love, I find peace makes me whole."

I was struck by how opposite these things are in today's society.  I was especially struck in the midst of the Christmas season, which has been full of parties, programs, gifts to buy, snacks to make, etc.  It has been full, full, full. There hasn't been much rest or peace because of the chaos.  As I was reflecting on my life, I used to live in a state of chaos, busyness, sleep deprivation.  I was on the cycle of more more more.  More accomplishments, more striving, more things, more money, more food, more more more more more more more.  Ugh.  It was exhausting.  

Do you see this too in our society? We don't value rest or peace, which is what makes us whole.  So it is with food.  When we are hungering for the things of God, the physical hunger disappears, at least for me it did.  We learn to treat our bodies as the temples they were created to be.  We want to be healthy, whole, refreshed and ready to thrive in this gift of life we have been given.  Yet, we are so opposite our culture in doing so.  We as a society don't know how to care for ourselves ~ physically, emotionally or socially.  We are complicated, people.  Everything we do in one area affects the other. What we eat affects how we think and feel.  How we feel and think affects how we eat.  If we are satisfied spiritually, we don't long for things that are not good for us.  Does this make sense?

Today in my devotional, "Streams in the Desert," I read this.  I think it is good confirmation.  "We would be better Christians if we spent more time alone, and we would actually accomplish more if we attempted less and spent more time in isolation and quiet waiting upon God.  The world has become too much a part of us, and we are afflicted with the idea that we are not accomplishing anything unless we are always busily running back and forth.  We no longer believe in the importance of a calm retreat where we sit silently in the shade."  BOOM!  I totally agree and this confirms what I was thinking/feeling during worship.  {Love that confirmation, don't you?}


I am not saying I have this figured out, mastered or conquered this at all.  I'm just saying what I have observed for myself. When I don't feel well spiritually, emotionally or mentally, I'm more likely to sacrifice my physical health as a result.  When I feel out of control in my life {too busy, stressed, etc.}, I will get out of control with my eating as well. Do you do this too?  Are you aware of this?  I just wonder if we are confused about our hunger as we are chasing the wrong things? What do you think?

Monday, December 22, 2014

What Does Your Spending Say About You?


I know this is a touchy subject, but I'm not afraid! I've been hearing a few things about money lately so feel compelled to share this post. Did you know that where you spend your money shows what you truly value? If you spend a lot of money on fast food, what does that say you value? I'd say convenience. If you spend a lot of money on clothes, what does that say you value? I'd say looking good. If you spend a lot of money on philanthropic causes, charities and giving, I'd say you value giving. Do you agree?

So if you are a person who says you value something, does your spending reflect that? For me, if I said I value health and wellness, but spent money on fast food, junk food, pop, fancy coffee drinks, what would that say I value? Not health and wellness, for sure! So, does your spending reflect your values?
We heard a speaker at a church a few weeks ago say something that really convicted me. He was talking about a new car he was going to purchase. He made the comment that he didn't want to spend more on something in his garage than he did investing it in the Kingdom. Ouch. That totally convicted me. {Yes, I might dream of having a luxury car one day. Not sure why, I know that isn't where my worth or value is. It doesn't say much about me except I like nice things? Might not spend wisely? Not sure on that....}

For me, I have found I really enjoy purchasing products that are HELPING someone else. Some of my favorites are: Sak Saum, Vi Bella, Noonday Collection, Trades of Hope and TOMS. There are so many great organizations out there that are employing people in need. Our dollars have so much power! We can help end poverty in the world by choosing where we spend our money.

So, back to yours truly, since I'm going under the microscope here :) What do I spend my money on? I spend it on organizations that help people as I mentioned above. I spend it on Kingdom ministries. We tithe at church and give to various mission organizations. I also spend it on health and wellness. I buy lots of fresh fruits and veggies/month. We are gluten free, dairy free because the kids and I are intolerant. We buy very minimal processed foods. We avoid food dyes and sugars. We eat clean as much as we can. And, of course, Shakeology, the healthiest meal of the day. Yes, I used to balk at the cost and say it was too expensive. However, I have found that after drinking it for almost a year, that our grocery bill has not increased due to it {and I track our spending in excel!} I have also found that our vitamin line item in our budget has gone down. I believe that everyone deserves to take good care of themselves because they have worth and value.

Our family goes to the chiropractor regularly. We eat well, we don't drink pop, we exercise, we drink Shakeology, the kids take vitamins, in the winter, we take elderberry to boost our immune systems. This is our preventative medicine and this is where we choose to spend our money.  

So, now it's your turn.....if we were to look at your bank statement, what would that ALONE, tell us about you? Something to think about, isn't it?

Friday, December 19, 2014

Let's Talk About Failure, Shall We?

The other day as I was getting ready, I realized I was using a mug from a direct sales company I was once a part of.  I did fairly well in the company, was at the leadership level and earned incentive trips, walked across stage for recognition, etc.  Once I had Lauren, I had postpartum depression and decided to not continue doing the business for various reasons.

As I continued to get ready, I noticed the make up brushes I was using were from yet ANOTHER direct sales company I had been a part of.  Hmm, ok.  I glanced around the bathroom and found more memorabilia from other tried business attempts.....monogrammed towels, lotions, and so forth.  My mind started to think about failure.


What is failure?  How do you define it?  Is it trying something and not reaching the level of success you envisioned?  Is it not trying something because you are too scared?  Is it quitting?  Is it continuing to try, regardless of your past?  How do YOU define failure?

To some, I might look like a failure after trying multiple businesses....any guesses as to how many I have had?  It's kind of a joke with Chad and I now, LOL!  Or to some, I might not look like a failure because I have kept going.  The other day as I was mulling this over in my brain, my take away was I am not a failure because each of those business opportunities taught me something about myself. They taught me something about other people.  I learned from them, I grew and changed as a result. Now, I am able to take what I have learned and apply it to my current reality, which I am thankful for.  There's a lot of knowledge up in my noggin' y'all that is just waiting to come out!  It is exciting!


So, what's waiting for you?  What have you not succeeded at {in your eyes} in the past? What have you quit?  What have you been too scared to do?  It is not too late.  Your time is NOW.  What if I let all those businesses define me as a failure?  Would I be where I am now? NO!  Would I have said yes to the current opportunity I'm with?  NO!  Would I be able to share from my experiences with y'all?  NO! So, has failing been good?  As much as the perfectionist in me hates to say it, YES!  It has taught me to get up again and again and again and.....



I love this picture!  I have learned to embrace the saying "Progress, not Perfection," a lot lately.  Is perfection attainable?  NOPE!  Will I always feel like a failure if that is what I'm striving for?  Yup. However, by shooting for progress, my target is more achievable.  And, heck, if I fail, who cares?  It just means I keep trying.  Did I learn something from failing? Sure did.  So, do I want to progress? Yes! Then I need to keep failing!

So, how about you?  What is something you haven't committed to because you're afraid of failing?  Is it money management?  Time management?  Exercise?  Changing eating habits?  A business opportunity, like me? What is it that is holding you back? Identify it, get out of your way and make some PROGRESS!!!  You are WORTH it!  Don't let something from your past that you view as failure affect your PRESENT.  Now, go FAIL!

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Dining Out ~ Some Good Choices

I'm currently doing a health and wellness accountability group {if you don't know what this is, please ask me. I'd love to tell you about it!} One of the gals I'm coaching in the group asked about some good choices on dining out. Since it is such a busy time of year, I loved this idea and decided to blog some ideas for you, too! So, here are some good choices when dining out :)


My personal favorite is Panera. Did you know they have a secret menu? Check it out:
https://www.panerabread.com/en-us/mypanera/search.html?q=power+menu

All of those are great choices, I think.

At Culvers, I like the bacon-bleu salad without the bleu. It's got chicken, some bacon, some craisins, lettuce {not the best, but...} & then I do a lite raspberry vinaigrette dressing.

At Arby's, I like the homestyle turkey salad. Again, turkey, lettuce, some fruit, I think. Then, do a lite dressing as well.

Chick-Fil-A, another favorite! I do grilled chicken {either nuggets, or sandwich without a bun} and fresh fruit.

Jimmy Johns has a great option, the un-wich, which is the sandwich of your choice wrapped in lettuce, rather than a loaf of bread. Meat and veggies are great choices.

Salads are generally a good choice, get the dressing on the side and go light on the cheese {or none at all}.  Worst case scenario, you can get a sandwich, take off the bun. As far as sides, fruit is always a good choice! If you HAVE to get fries, get the smallest size you can. Skip the pop and go with water!

That's a start? Where do YOU like to dine at & what do you get?

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Why I Did NOT Want To Become a Beachbody Coach

You might find this title odd, but it is true.  I did not want to become a Beachbody coach. Let me share some of my story from the beginning.  When we lived in IL, I was in a networking group with other professional women.  One of the women in the group was the director at a local gym.  She had also recently become a coach with Beachbody. Having been in the direct sales/MLM/work from home business arena before, I was intrigued by the business, BUT had serious hesitations with it. {Yes, I have tried several ventures, but didn't find the right one.....}  My hesitations were I was NOT into health and fitness at all,  I was not a gym rat {my idea of working out was childcare at the gym!}, I wasn't in shape, I didn't like the name ~ when I hear Beachbody, I think of a bikini and I don't wear those, so that was not appealing to me.  It just didn't fit who I was, ya know? Plus, I have had issues with food in the past.

The other parts were I was uneducated on the product line and as to what a coach really does.  I thought the product line would be like every other quick fix product I have tried before.  You know, drink a shake or take some pills, eat the same, don't exercise, don't change the amount of water you drink and expect it to perform a miracle.  Well, that is not the case with Beachbody.  What I love is that they focus on a lifestyle change, not a quick fix.  All of the programs focus on clean eating, the right amount of food groups, calories, and nutrients for your body type. The other big component they focus on is exercise. Exercise is SO important, not only for physical health, but mental health as well. My favorite favorite part though, is the education and accountability.  Being a part of an accountability group on facebook when I did the 21 day fix was life changing for me!  I learned so much about why my body needed what it did ~ in terms of food, water and exercise.  We also had to be accountable for our actions for the day, which is an area I had issues with in the past.  So this component was huge for me and I believe a large reason for my success too!

The other hang up I had was I am not into physical appearances at all.  I was concerned that if I was a part of Beachbody, people would associate me with being vain, wanting to be stick thin, etc.  That is SO not who I am. I am not into that.  What I am into is being the best YOU you can be, I am into taking care of yourself and treating your body like a temple.  I am about promoting positive lifestyle changes, not some fad diet.  Our society does a very poor job of educating us on how to care for ourselves, what we should eat, not eat, how much of what food group, etc.  I want to change that and help people learn what they need!

Having been in sales before, I also know what it is like to sell people a bunch of things they don't really need.  {If I have done that to you in the past, will you please forgive me?  Ugh, I shudder to think about those days, but they are a part of my story, so I accept them and move on.}  With that being said, I am also not into sales.  I don't want to be the person that people avoid because everytime they see me they think I am going to try to sell them something.  Again, that is not who I am.  I am someone who wants to come alongside people and help them reach their goals ~ whether that is to lose weight, make better food choices, tone up, get more education, etc.  I want to offer support, guidance, education and motivation.  My hearts desire is to help people feel good again and enjoy the life they have been blessed with!  So many of us {myself included at one point} just trudge through life thinking this is all there is.  You are tired, burnt out, irritated, sick, irritated, frustrated and just not feeling good.  You don't have to live that way, I promise!  I used to but don't anymore.  If you'd like some help/support/education in this area, please let me know.  I would be delighted to help you!


My motivation is to help.  I want to see people well, energetic and able to embrace their lives. Being a part of Beachbody has allowed me to do that and I am so thankful.  I had to get over some of my personal hang ups, perceptions and learn the facts in order to do that though.  And I'm so grateful I did.



Thursday, December 4, 2014

"You Have Failed Your Driving Test....."

I think that is what the woman on the computer said at the end of my driving test after we moved to Indiana.  I don't really remember to be honest.  I was too embarassed.  Too ashamed.  Too sad. Really?  I failed my driving test AGAIN?  Yes, this same thing happened in South Dakota too.  I did not pass my driving test the first time there.  {How is it possible I got a license in IN, IL, WI and then have issues in SD and IN?  I'm not sure.}  I digress.....

So, SD.  My IL license had actually expired when I went in to take my test.  So not only did I not pass that test the first time, I also didn't have a license to drive away with because they took the expired IL one.  For a rule follower, this felt very wrong!  I was crushed to have failed my test the first time.  I am a good driver, after all.  I don't get pulled over, {well, just once in Iowa but the last time I think was in college.}  I don't get into accidents, {the dents in our van were not caused by me, but by the other driver in our home who shall remain nameless.}  I always wear my seatbelt, pay attention and follow the rules of the road.  I SHOULD HAVE PASSED MY BLASTED TEST THE FIRST TIME.  But, I did not.  Talk about a blow to my pride.  So, I repented, studied, prayed before taking the test, put lavender essential oil on my wrist {it is calming} and went in for round two. {About the oil, I believe part of my problem is test anxiety coupled with sensory issues.  When it's loud, there are lots of people around, etc. I don't do well.  That was scenario 1 in SD.  Scenario 2 was a totally different story. I was in the room on the computer by myself, I had headphones, etc.}  And, I passed!  I felt like I had earned my badge that day!

So, fast forward to our move here, in IN.  We get here, get settled, Chad took his test the first few days we were here.  He did not study, the day before he backed into my moms car, got pulled over on the way here, you get the picture....and PASSES HIS TEST THE FIRST TIME.  Really?  Yah, not fair.  He was kind enough to bring me a manual though, which I did study before I went in the first time.  I dropped the kids off to school and headed to the BMV when they opened to be early enough to beat the crowds and hopefully have some quiet!  Easy peasy, walked right in, took my test and was yelled at when I finished "YOU HAVE FAILED YOUR DRIVING TEST."  Well, great, let's just blast that on WLFI, shall we?   I wanted to climb under my chair, but I went to the desk and explained I didn't pass, was given my instructions for round two and GIVEN MY LICENSE BACK! Yippee!  This meant I didn't need to rush to take the dumb test again!  And, I didn't.  I cried on the way home.  {In my defense, I had been under a lot of pressure/stress that week and the whole test anxiety thing didn't work in my favor....}  So, after waiting a good three weeks, I went back in to take the test.  The day before Thanksgiving.  Guess what?  They were BUSY.  It was LOUD.  Eek, I had studied diligently the weeks before and prayed before I went in and knew if I passed this time, it would be all God.  I did ask for headphones, which they gave me and I headed to the computer.  And, I passed!  This was the time I wish I didn't have the headphones on {see, pride there, again!}.  I was SO relieved and thankful to have this behind me!

I will just talk briefly about why I believe this is a flawed system before I get to my take aways here. It doesn't look at the big picture.  It doesn't account for your driving record/history.  It doesn't ask for anything other than random data people can memorize and discard after the test {like yours truly}.  I believe a more accurate test would take those things into account as well, as opposed to some trivia on a computer.  So, there.

But, now, the ah ha's of it all.  I let the fact that I didn't pass my test the first time impact me in ways it shouldn't have.  It affected how I felt about myself.  It told me I was a failure, which is a lie.  My Bible doesn't say that.  Does yours?  For some reason, I thought I was entitled to a license because of my flawless past.  My Bible doesn't say we are entitled to anything based on our past.  We are all saved by God's grace, not anything we can do on our own.   How do we view failure?  I'm reading a great book by Doug Addison called "Personal Development Gods Way," in which he says "I now view failure as a necessary training event that will prepare me for something in the future.  I actually have changed the way that I think so that I am not impacted by failure."  So, what's your take on failure, friends?


Wednesday, December 3, 2014

The Importance of Self Care: A Changed Life

Last February, as many of you who have been reading my blog know, I did a program called the 21 Day Fix.  I loved it!  {You can read about my story/experience here}.  I loved that I saw changes in 3 short weeks, of course, but more importantly, I love what I learned and how I felt about myself afterwards.  Prior to the Fix, I discovered I had wheat and dairy intolerances.  I had started clean eating a little bit, when I felt like it, but that was pretty much it.  {If I felt like a Blizzard, let's just say the DQ won over clean eating!}  My portions were off, I was an emotional/stress eater, I didn't really exercise {truth be told, I went to the gym for the childcare.  EEK!}  I didn't know how to take care of myself.  In any capacity, really.  Not physically, certainly not emotionally.  I was kind of a hot mess who did a good job of covering it up.  {Just bein' real here, folks!}

However, doing the Fix, I did learn how to clean eat consistently.  I did learn portion control, I learned how to exercise effectively.   By golly, I think I may have also broken my Blizzard addiction!  And, most importantly, I learned how to care for myself.  I learned what I need to be the best Melissa I can be. Ya know who reaps those benefits?  Everyone around me.  Chad, Lauren, Landon and those I interact with on a daily basis.  Have you heard the term "hangry?"  I'm pretty sure prior to the Fix, I was hangry all the time.  I didn't know how to fuel my body, I didn't know I should eat every 3-4 hours to keep my blood sugar stable, I didn't know sugar made me irritable, I didn't know how to be energetic because I was dragging ALL.THE.TIME. from all the JUNK I ate.  I didn't know my food was making me tired, instead of fueling me like it should if I ate the right things.  I didn't know any of that.  I just thought that is how life was and how it had to be now that I had kids.  


Ya know what?  That is a LIE.  A big fat lie!  You don't have to feel run down, lethargic, tired, frustrated, hangry, irritable and annoyed all the time.  You don't!  So, stop it!  See, taking care of myself made me feel better from the inside out.  I had a birthday recently and I'm shocked to say I feel better now at this age than I did in my prime college years!  I never would have guessed that this was possible. There are so many things I'm learning and ways I'm growing and changing and I love it!

When we lived in IL, Chad traveled for work {this was several years ago before I knew about clean eating, wheat/dairy issues and I pretty much lived off of pop, sugar, big pretzels with cheese {yup, daily lunch for 4+ years - GROSS!}, and any other processed crap food I could pummel in my mouth with 2 small kids and a traveling husband.  {Not exactly my prime, ok?}  I was crabby.  I was angry. I was a mean mom.  As much as I hate to say it, I was.  I remember specifically, Lauren waking up too early one morning when Chad was traveling.  I had just gotten up myself, headed downstairs for my morning cup of joe and to have my quiet time when she came downstairs.  I was so angry.  How dare she get up in the middle of MY time?  Why did she have to get up early this day?  I needed something for myself and I didn't get it because she woke up too early.  {See where I was at?  Yah, not good}.  I remember driving her angrily to preschool and thinking "I just need something for myself.  I need to be able to care for myself since I have to take care of my kids.  How do I do that?"  I was clueless, lost, frustrated.  I knew what I needed, but I didn't know how to achieve it.  I felt stuck.  {And, if you know me well, you know I don't get along well with feeling/being stuck.  It doesn't work for me.}

Fast forward to now.  Here we are, 4-5 years later and Chad is traveling again.  {In fact, tonight as I write this.}  But, I'm not that angry mom anymore.  I am able to care well for my kids now because I know how to care for myself.  I know what I need to do to be the best Melissa I can be.  Not just for me, but for my family.  I am a new person.  {There have been some significant spiritual changes that have taken place as well, that are certainly a part of this as well.  I'm not discounting those at all.  I just now know what I need to do to take care of myself.}  I am now unstuck.  I am free.  And, it feels good.

Friends, if you are reading this and you relate or understand where I was at, let me help you! You don't have to do the 21 Day Fix like I did, maybe there is something else you need.  Just let me tell you that your life doesn't have to be that way either.  It shouldn't be that way. Don't keep living like that if you don't have to.  I am living a changed life today and it is awesome. I want that for you too.  You ARE worth it!




Sunday, November 30, 2014

Accountability?

Let's talk about accountability.  When you hear that word, what comes to mind?  A judge? Someone watching your every move? Discipline?  Most of us don't have a positive idea associated with accountability, do we?  I don't know why that is and I'm not going to delve into that here, but I can tell you that I see it as a problem within our nation as a whole.  We lack discipline in lots of areas ~ parental discipline, yes, but also self discipline with our thoughts, relationships, finances, food, technology, lack of boundaries, etc.  We are a society with very little discipline as a whole. There seems to be no real consequences for our actions.  {Which again, is not something I am going to get into here, but know I have some thoughts on it. :) }




An area of my life where I have greatly benefited from accountability is with my health, wellness and nutrition.  See, I have never had anyone really teach me how to eat, how to exercise effectively, or how to care for myself.  I followed most of the magazine articles that said what to do...you know, things like Atkins, South Beach, Weight Watchers, etc., but those programs didn't offer accountability or education.  {Not in depth education that I would benefit from}. That's what I love about what I do.  As an online health coach, I coach people and educate them on what their bodies need, how to fuel their bodies, and I hold them accountable for their actions.  They have to report in with how they did that day with exercise, food choices, water intake, etc.  It's not rigid and nazi like at all, but merely a daily check in where people share in a private facebook group how they did.  That then tells me how I can best encourage, support and help them.  The cool thing is the group does that for the members too!  We all have our struggles.  Mine was food - I was a binge eater with no one to hold me accountable.  Then, when my clothes didn't fit, guess what I did? Just went and bought a bigger size.  {After I ate another cookie because I was depressed, of course!}  Is that going to help me reach my goals?  NOPE.

I didn't realize how much I needed the accountability in my life until I tried it and got results.  It was amazing!  So where do you need accountability in your life?  If it is with your food, exercise and health, I can help!  If it is something else and you feel comfortable sharing with me, please let me know and I can see what resources or connections I might have to help you.

Be blessed, friends!

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Am I ___________ Enough?

Home.  Memories of the past.  People from the past.  Dreams I once had when I was young {and naive}.  These are all things I have been forced to confront/deal with/think about/process since moving back "home." See, when I was away, they were out of sight, out of mind, and not on my radar.  However, with being home, that is not the case.  I am forced to walk through these things and not avoid them.  {Which, truth be told, is what I prefer to do.  Avoid.  Sigh.}

I feel that now I am back and older, wiser and more mature {don't argue with me on these, it is true!} I see things so much differently than I did when I was young.  Now, I am able to look back at how I was when I was here and see where I was at in my life, and why I was that way.  I can see what my motivations were, what I was looking for.  What I needed, or thought I needed at that time.   For me, the root of it was insecurity.  "Am I ______ enough?" is a thought that often came to mind.  Or "I'm not _____ enough."  Fill in the blank - pretty, smart, thin, nice, honest, good.  Whatever word comes to mind, I probably wondered if I was enough of it. Seeing things this way makes me aware of why I did some of the things I did when I was younger.  I was looking for completion.  I was looking for meaning and to be meaningful.  I was looking for wholeness.  

It's funny how being back those thoughts can come flooding back.  I have found myself asking "Am I _______ enough," again.  Odd. And not fun.  It's like the memories run into my head again.  The feelings of inadequacy. But now, I am in a different place.  I am armed and equipped to combat those thoughts with the truth.  I can stand on the promises of God because they are true. There's a song by Mercy Me that has really been ministering to me a lot since we moved home.  It's called "Dear Younger Me."  Here's a clip of it for you to enjoy : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGpEns-I3kI

See, like the song says, I made my joy, my pain, my situation my worth.  If I knew then what I know now, it would not have been hard to figure out what I would have changed.  See, there are things that happen to us that we aren't meant to carry beyond the cross.  But, we do.  We let our pain, our struggles, our trials define us.  We let them have control of us instead of letting the Holy Spirit have control of us.  We then operate from that wound or hurt instead of being led by the Spirit.  "Hurting people hurt people," is a statement I have found to be so true.  When someone is hurting, they are so absorbed in their pain that all they know is pain.  So, they lash out and and put those around them in pain.  I don't believe it is intentional, but it is what happens.  Then, a cycle is created.  Pain causes pain, which causes more pain....see where I'm going with this?

All this to say, if you find yourself asking "Am I _______ enough?"  The answer is YES.  A resounding YES!  And, here is why:                                                  

You may not feel like you are enough.  You may not think you look like enough. However, what the world says is worth is really rubbish. So, don't let yourself go there, friend.  It's not worth it.  From someone who has been there, don't do it!  It is not worth it.  

Love & hugs,
Melissa

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Can You Say Time Warp?

Time Warp.  That is how I would describe moving "home" after being away for almost 15 years.  It is the darndest thing.



See, in my mind, things are how they were when I left.  The town{s} is the same, the people are the same.  I am the same.  This is where it gets tricky.  What I imagine isn't reality.  The town{s} has changed, people have changed, I have changed {thank goodness!}  BUT, in my mind those things are as they were when I left.  But again, in my mind, I am different.  This is not reality.  Nothing is the same.  I am not the same, people aren't the same, towns aren't the same.  Time marches on, doesn't it? Yes, it does.  So, the fact that I'm not the young teeny bopper I was when I was here is tricky.  {The mirror certainly doesn't tell me I am, lol!}

Recently, I have been struck with how many younger people have recognized me or known me since being back.  I think at least once a week, someone says "Hi Melissa," or "didn't you go to Delphi?" And, I have no idea who they are.  Then I feel bad.  I have a good memory.  I remember names, I remember faces, I remember people.  So, the fact that I don't know who they are makes me feel bad. I was at school the other day and someone from college recognized me.  Once she asked if I was in Purduettes, I knew just who she was. Name and all.  I was excited about that!   Then, shortly after that, I started to think that everyone looked familiar and I should know them!  It's really a trip being back after being away for so long.

The other interesting thing is the places that are so familiar.  I have memories here. Experiences here. Triggers here {ha ha!  Kind of kidding, kind of not}.  It's like an out of body experience really.  I was on campus a few weeks ago.  I haven't been on campus since I was in college, so to be back how many years later with children in a mini van was a big wake up call.  Whoa.  Still kinda reeling from that one.  It's like in my mind, I remember being there in college, so when my body and my reality don't connect with that, I don't know quite what to do with it yet.  It really is bizarre.

Thankfully, people have been very kind and gracious in offering their name and how they know me and I appreciate that.  So, it's been a wild ride being back. Stay tuned for more of our Indiana adventure!

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Let's Talk About Shakeology and Clean Eating

Is your health important to you?  Most people say that it is, but I find we don’t really know how to care for ourselves or that we lack education on what “healthy” is.  We aren’t aware that what we eat affects our health, or how our food affects our health.  I ran a free 5 day sugar elimination group, which was very eye opening, this week.  We are a nation consumed with fast food, sugar and junk food.  The sad part is we think we are eating healthy!  Partly because of what we have been taught eating “healthy” is and also because change is hard.  I don’t doubt people’s desire to be healthy, but I find that the actions aren’t matching the desire.  We know actions and words can be different sometimes.
Why is it that when it comes to our health, we focus on it when it is convenient for us or we need something?  We are getting ready for a reunion, a vacation, a wedding, etc., that is when we want to get healthy and lose weight?   What about the other 300 days in the year?  If you are complaining about the way you feel, not having enough energy, being over tired, the way your clothes fit, how you look, having out of control cravings, lack of will power, and body aches and sore muscles, then it’s time to change!  
Did you know you cannot outrun your fork?  If you are eating poorly, no amount of exercise can outrun that.  80% of your results come from the foods that you eat.  You cannot out exercise a bad diet.  But you can add exercise as you change your eating habits ;)  In February, I dove head first into the idea of clean eating and slowly started to change my nutrition.  I had dabbled in clean eating prior, but not full throttle.  Initially, I did it for weight loss, but what happened along the way was worth WAY more than what was happening on the scale.  I felt good, for the first time in my life!  I had more energy, I was confident, happy, not crabby.  {None of this hangry business anymore!}  It was awesome!  Would you be surprised to hear I did this by eating more food more frequently?  The kicker was it was the RIGHT kind of foods, not the wrong ones.  I learned how to treat my body the way God designed it to be treated.  I learned how to use food for fuel rather than comfort or a boredom buster.  I learned to listen to my body.  It was life changing!  The more time I have eaten clean, the more I believe this is the right way to live!!!  It’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle change.  My food fuels my body by eating the right kinds of foods, by having healthy portion sizes, spaced every 2 1/2 to 3 hours, cutting out processed foods, and drinking lots of water.  I can eat this way no matter where I am at!  Yes, it is more challenging away from home, since we live in such a fast food society that values cost over health, but I have found ways to do it and can help you too!
As a recovering person with food issues, I have tried everything under the sun – prepackaged diets, counting calories, counting points, diet shakes, etc. and I did not lose weight, nor did I feel satisfied at all.  In fact, I was more crabby doing those things than what I’m doing now!

Shakeology has been a huge part of this for me.   I have tried other meal replacement shakes in the past and still felt hungry.  I’m usually in a hurry!  When in a rush, I used to eat on the go – you know, leftover kid foods, sugar laden cereals, etc.  On a good day, I’d get to a coffee shop and have a latte and muffin, but then feel like crap the rest of the day….I was dragging because I wasn’t giving my body what it needed to operate as it should.  Then, I would feel GUILTY for not making a better choice, and I would then CRAVE more of the bad stuff!  {Which is another downfall to sugar – it’s addiction component}

Are you on this vicious cycle of wanting to be healthy, but feel like you don’t have enough time, and just lack of energy and will power?  Can you relate?

If so, let me help :)

1.  Start today!  My blog the other day talks about how the perfect time never comes…do it now!  What do you have to lose?  You could actually lose weight before Christmas rather than waiting until after Christmas!

2.  Baby steps - cut out the processed foods, carbs, sugars, pop.  You likely know what your “bad foods” are.  Start there.  Begin reading labels and stop buying foods with ingredients you cannot pronounce or understand.  Get rid of the bad foods in your house – the candy, the cookies, ice cream, etc.  You can’t eat it if it’s not there!  {Been there, done that!  Good bye, Girl Scout Cookies!}

3.  Don't feel guilty not buying sweets for your kids.  They don’t need it either!  It isn’t good for them!  Did you know that sugar weakens your immune system and makes you more susceptible to illness?  On top of brain fog, lack of concentration, etc.  Who needs that?  None of us :)

4.  Start drinking Shakeology. Why??? First of all, shakeology is NOT A PROTEIN SHAKE which most people think it is. Let me explain why it isn't.  Shakeology is a meal replacement and not a protein shake.  It has the right carb to protein ratio your body needs to stay full for 2 1/2 to 3 hours.  It has the fast burning carbohydrates with the slower burning protein to keep you satisfied.

It has a ton of natural {not processed} ingredients that meet your daily requirements for vitamins and nutrients. So you notice that the energy you were lacking is decreased because you are now getting vitamins and nutrients that give you energy.  Your cravings for sweets are decreased which is originally caused by vitamin deficiency and you are no longer deficient.  You are not over eating because Shakeology is portion controlled, so your portions are in check.

Shakeology is not for weight loss.  It's for nutrition, and of course when you have proper nutrition you naturally lose weight!  Shakeology is something I drink daily because it is convenient, it's healthy, it does not add to my grocery budget - it replaces something I used to have that was less healthy!

So when you look at clean eating and Shakeology as an investment in your health how can you deny it?  It's the one thing that keeps me on track when life gets busy! Instead of eating leftover kid food heading out the door, I now grab a shake and go!

5.  Change how you look at food.  View it as fuel not for comfort or boredom busting :)  When you eat, a good thing to ask is “ is this giving me energy, is this giving me nutrients or is this purely comfort and to fill a void?”  From time to time, you will eat for fun, to celebrate, etc., but this is not an everyday occurrence!  Enjoy things from time to time, not daily :)

If you are reading this and feel ready to change, commit to Shakeology once a day! This is your health, your life and you’re the only one in control of it.  And, you ARE worth it!  I see so many people who don’t know how to take care of themselves…how can we care for those around us if we aren’t caring for ourselves?  We can’t!  

I’d also love for you to join my next clean eating support group.  This way you can learn to make this a lifestyle change, not a diet.  I have lots of recipes, meal plans, grocery lists, travel tips and tools to help you!  The only way you won’t succeed is if you don’t put in the effort to change ;)


If I am not your coach on Team Beachbody your next step is to create a free accountI will then contact you to start your consultation about how you can improve your health and balance the good with the bad!

I’d love to partner with you to be the best you YOU can be!  You ARE worth it!


Saturday, November 22, 2014

So, What's Your Crutch?

So, what's your crutch?   Yes, I asked.  What is your go to in times of stress, frustration, sadness, when you need comfort, etc?  




For most of us, it is food.  For others, it can be drugs, alcohol, tobacco, and a variety of other addictions I don't need to lay out here.  Since I haven't struggled with drugs, alcohol, tobacco or anything else {well, maybe the internet ~ facebook?}, I don't feel equipped to speak to those.  But food?  Yes, I can speak on food.

I have very vivid memories of digging for "chunks" in the ice cream container.  So much so that I would eat 3/4 of it at once, as I was obsessed with finding chunks.  I didn't realize I was consuming mass quantities of ice cream while I was doing it, as I was so focused on my "treasure."  It was a way to numb my pain, soothe my heart and calm me down.  Or so I thought.  Funny thing is it actually did quite the opposite.  Years later after abusing my body to binging on a diet of ice cream, frozen burritos, soft pretzels, cheese, pop, and candy, I discovered I'm intolerant to wheat, dairy and corn. Surprise!  Actually, no, it shouldn't surprise me as that was all I was eating.  {If you're curious about the corn...no, I wasn't directly eating corn but there is high fructose corn syrup in most of those foods I was living off of.  So it's a corn by-product.}  Gross.  It actually makes me feel ill to type this.

So, back to you...what's your crutch? What do find yourself doing when you're hurt?  Frustrated? Sad?  Lonely?  Discouraged?  Before you pick up your spoon and carton of ice cream, will you do me a favor?  Ask yourself ~ "why am I eating?  Am I truly hungry or is there something more going on here?"  I think that so many of us are so deeply wounded that we just continue to abuse ourselves, our bodies, our health which affects so many areas of our lives....it affects our minds, our emotions, everything.  So, my encouragement for you this week is to pause and do a self assesment.  You are worth it!  Stop beating yourself up, please!  Other people are so good at doing that to us, we don't need to do it too......

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Why Does It Work?

Yesterday on facebook, I shared that after 11 years of marriage, 2 kids, etc. {Etc. being 5 houses in 4 states, how many businesses......} that I am at a size I have never ever been at in my life.  I didn't say it to brag or get attention.  I shared simply to let you know things you think aren't possible for you actually ARE.  May I elaborate?

This is more of what I shared on facebook ~ "When you give 
your body what it needs, it is amazing what it will do for you. If you know me, you know that I'm about SO MUCH MORE than a number on a scale or the size of your jeans.....just like this is about more than that. It is about being the best YOU you can be. It's about feeling good, feeling confident & thriving in your life. Don't just get by friends, you ARE worth it! "  And you are!

Part of what I struggled with for so long and didn't realize it until recently was self worth.  I didn't think I was worth taking care of.  I didn't think I could be a certain body shape. I thought if I looked a certain way, I would attract the wrong kind of attention, that people would think certain things, etc. See where I'm going with this?  I wasn't about caring for myself.  To be honest with you, it was actually self abuse.

Food was my crutch.  When I was stressed, I would eat. Bored?  Yup, eat.  When I was nervous, kitchen here I come. See, I was using food for the wrong things.  Food is designed to fuel our bodies and to make them work well.  That is what it is created to do, but so many of us have fallen away from that and we turn to food for comfort, for relief, for whatever. It is our drug of choice.  And, it is not good.  Do you relate to what I'm saying?


It's kind of like a gas tank.  We fill up our tanks when we are on empty, right?   Why?  Because we want the car to go.  Our bodies should be the same.  We should be feeding them nutritious, healthy, clean food so they work well for us. When we are running on "E," physically, we should ask ourselves "what does my body need now?"  More food?  Water? Exercise?  Taking care of yourself is preventative care.  




You may know I have made a radical lifestyle change since doing a program called the 21 Day Fix in February.  You can read my whole story here.  And, yes, I have tried lots of other programs before....Weight Watchers, Clean Eating, other shakes, supplements, pills, etc. and NOTHING WORKED.  Ya know why? Because I wasn't educated on what my body needed.  I was simply sold a product.  {On a side note, that is not what I am doing.  I ask a lot of questions.  That is because I want to be sure you are getting a program that is best suited for you.  So if you are looking for a quick fix, to spend some money and hoping for great results, this isn't for you.  However, if you're open to learning what your body needs, coaching and learning how to make those changes, this could be a good fit for you! But bear with me as I ask because I understand the value of money and want to be sure we get the right program for your goals, your lifestyle and your needs. }

So, why does a challenge/accountability group work?  Why will you get results? Let me tell you why:

1. You are getting an exact workout program that shows you exactly what to do to get results. 


2. You will get a nutrition guide and a month supply of Shakeology so you will know exactly what to eat to fuel your 

body and get results.  

3. You will get my coaching and accountability for free!  I run private facebook groups that offer you education, support, motivation and accountability so you can finish the program strong.  You will literally have support every step of the way.


All you need to do is commit, show up, do the work and you will see results!  And, if you don't have success, you get your money back!  This was what did it for me.  I was learning how to treat my body for the first time in my life!  I was learning how to exercise effectively!  I was learning how to be accountable for my actions, that what I put into my body would either make me or break me in the future.  It was really life changing for me.  I think so often it's easy to pop food in our mouths, or hide in a closet and binge eat, thinking if no one sees us....the truth is they may not see us eating it, but we know we did it and our clothes will eventually tattle on us!







So, what is holding you back?  Yourself?  If so, get out of your way!  You ARE worth it, friend!  You were created to live life to the full, so are you?  Again, it's not about a size you wear or a number on a scale, but about showing up, being present, feeling good and THRIVING in the life you have been given!  I'd be honored to come alongside you.........

Friday, November 14, 2014

The Performance Trap - Do You Fall Into It, Too?

The good ol' performance trap...you know, the one that says "if I do this, then this."  For example, it might go, "if I get to school on time to pick up my kids, I'm a good parent."  Or "If I read my Bible every day, I'm a good Christian."  How about this one "If I exercise every day, I am healthy."  Um, hello....why do we do this to ourselves?

I have to be honest....I have fallen WAY back into the performance trap since being home. See, I grew up here.  I performed - I wore masks, was involved in everything and was not real.  Not out of wanting to be mean or cruel, but I think for protection.  Same thing happened in college - super over achiever, involved in everything on campus.  Um, hello, BURNOUT!  Those things do not identify who I am, nor did they then.  All of the striving I was doing was in total vain.  To be 100% honest, I'm not sure what I was striving for/seeking/looking for, but I can tell you I didn't find it.  It's like the lie that when you get that new car, you will be happy.  Sure, you are for a while.  Then, someone hits you, or it isn't a new car anymore and you're onto the next thing.  Anyone know what I'm talking about or am I the only one who has lived this?

Funny thing is being home I find myself in more "panic mode" of "do more," "be more," The perfectionistic tendencies are rearing their ugly heads too.  I find myself being more critical and feeling like things aren't enough - house isn't clean enough, kids aren't well behaved enough, etc.


As I have thought about this, I realize this is the first time I have really lived at home since I was in college.  When I was in Chicago, WI, IL, SD, I was away.  I liked it.  I didn't feel this pressure/panic/performance issue I feel now. Is it because I'm here and that is all I know from here?  Whatever it is, it is time to find a new "way" here.  I am not willing to live this way for myself or my family.  It isn't worth it.  If you have been in this cycle before, how did you break it?  I'd love your insight, friends.

Monday, November 10, 2014

What Are You Waiting For?


How true is this statement?  Let's think about it.  What are you waiting for?  The perfect time?  What is the "perfect time?"  After the holidays?  After your kids are in school?  When you retire?  Why wait?  What if that "perfect time" you've waited for never comes and you've totally missed out?  Then what?  Let me share some of my story.....

As you likely know, I did a program called the 21 Day Fix in February.  It was something that I wanted to do for myself.  My coach had been talking with me for about 2 years about doing something like this.  2 YEARS people!  Seriously, so yes, I know about waiting for the "perfect time,"  I finally decided to do it in February.  Truth be told, the fact that it was only 3 weeks long had a lot to do with that decision!  So, I jumped in and did it.  Was February a good time for me?  No, to be honest, it was probably the WORST time ever for me to do it.  My house was on the market, as my husband was on a nationwide job search due to changes at his work.  And, we were living in South Dakota, where it freezes that time of year.  By freezing, I mean 50 below 0.  Ya, it's a little cold there.  So, I was in full hibernation mode, eating comfort foods, ya know, junk!  Not working out because it was too cold to go to the gym and to be honest, I probably wasn't doing great mentally or emotionally with everything going on around me.  So, was it the "perfect time" to start?  HECK NO.  But, I did it anyway!  And, you know what?  I am SO glad I did!  Do I wish I had done it sooner?  HECK TO THE YES.  Do I regret doing it?  Not at all.  I only wish I had done it sooner.  Ya know what makes me sad?  If I had done it sooner, I could have had these results sooner.  More energy, more zeal for life, less crabbiness.  Peace.  Confidence in my own skin.

So, what are you waiting for?  For me, my "waiting" wasn't really about timing.  It was about me.  I didn't care enough about myself to do something.  I didn't think I was worth it.  I was comfortable with doing what I was doing.  Did I want to change?  Yes, I did.  Was I scared?  Yes, I was.  Did fear hold me back?  Probably.  What if I failed?  What if I didn't?  See, we get stuck in a cycle that goes like that, don't we?   What if this, what if that?  That cycle holds us back from so many things.  We get all caught up in our head and are afraid to try.  So what if I failed?  So what if I didn't?  Would anyone have known but me?  And, furthermore, why did it really matter?  Why do we do that to ourselves?  We hold ourselves back from our full potential so many times.  Friends, if you are reading this today, I encourage you to stop waiting.  That perfect time isn't going to come.  Life happens.  You've got to step out and go forth.  {Now if God is calling you to wait, that is another matter.  I'm not encouraging you to not listen to His timing at all.}  If you're waiting for the holidays, ya know what?  How many days are Thanksgiving and Christmas?  TWO.  Why would you wait and give up almost two months {60 days} for 2 days?  

I was listening to a call today with Chalene Johnson, who is a celebrity trainer who created programs like PiYo and TurboFire {both of which I adore, btw!}  She was talking about how so many times during this season, we are taking things off the list to put more things on like Christmas parties, Christmas cards, etc. What's the first to go? Our own self care. But that is the WORST thing you can take off....you gotta take care of yourself so you are prepared & ready to enter this stressful time. Just remember, you ARE worth it friends! I am happy to help in ANY way I can!

Sunday, November 2, 2014

I. Am. A. Sugar. Addict.

There, I said it.  Feels good to get that off my chest.  Funny thing is, I wouldn't have said that before the 21 Day Fix.  But, now that I have done that and learned how to take care of myself, I am a sugar addict.  See, Halloween was the other day, right?  I did really well - bought candy the day of, candy I didn't like, so I wouldn't be tempted, then.................

The doorbell rang.  It was a neighbor explaining they would not be home for Halloween, so wanted to bring some candy by for our kids.  {That was nice.}  Of course, we don't let our kids eat a lot of sugar, food dyes, and they are intolerant to wheat and dairy, so being the good mama that I am, I inspected the candy and ate it before they could.  {Hooray for me!  Mom of the year, here, right?} Not so much.....


The next morning, I woke up with a stomach ache.  Duh.  Halloween came, the kids went trick or treating and agreed to trade their candy in for a new toy.  Hooray!  But, you know what that means?  I ate some of their candy.  After my stomach hurt that morning from candy the night before.  So, I ate well in the morning, drank my water, and went on my way....until lunch time.  I was hungry but decided to eat some more candy before lunch.  An appetizer, maybe?  Yah, not a great idea.  Know what happened later that day ? The screaming manic woman I used to be came back with a vengeance.  It was scary!  I was angry, having negative thoughts, being totally irrational and unpleasant.  Think I would have learned a lesson, right?


Not so much.  My husband, the great man he is, hid the candy that night.  {Yay for him!}  The problem is, I knew where he hid the candy!  So, I would sneak in and get a few pieces. At one point, he busted me {ouch!} and said "do you think it is worth it?"  "What do you mean," I reply.  "What it does to your mental well being," he said.  "Um, yah, sure is.  It's just one piece." 


So, what happened today?  More raging lunatic-ness.  Seriously, what is my deal?  Why can I not stay away from the candy?  I don't know.  It happened again tonight - I snuck into the candy stash and the words my husband said went through my head.  And, ya know what?  It didn't stop me.  That is when I realized I truly have a problem.  And, that is why I can't keep sugar/candy/junk in the house. Scary, friends.  It was scary that having a few pieces of candy could take me back to that place I used to be in before the 21 Day Fix.  Eek.  Anyone else relate to this?