I think that is what the woman on the computer said at the end of
my driving test after we moved to Indiana. I don't really remember to be
honest. I was too embarassed. Too ashamed. Too sad. Really?
I failed my driving test AGAIN? Yes, this same thing happened in
South Dakota too. I did not pass my driving test the first time there.
{How is it possible I got a license in IN, IL, WI and then have issues in
SD and IN? I'm not sure.} I digress.....
So, SD. My IL license had actually expired when I went in to take my test. So not only did I not pass that test the first time, I also didn't have a license to drive away with because they took the expired IL one. For a rule follower, this felt very wrong! I was crushed to have failed my test the first time. I am a good driver, after all. I don't get pulled over, {well, just once in Iowa but the last time I think was in college.} I don't get into accidents, {the dents in our van were not caused by me, but by the other driver in our home who shall remain nameless.} I always wear my seatbelt, pay attention and follow the rules of the road. I SHOULD HAVE PASSED MY BLASTED TEST THE FIRST TIME. But, I did not. Talk about a blow to my pride. So, I repented, studied, prayed before taking the test, put lavender essential oil on my wrist {it is calming} and went in for round two. {About the oil, I believe part of my problem is test anxiety coupled with sensory issues. When it's loud, there are lots of people around, etc. I don't do well. That was scenario 1 in SD. Scenario 2 was a totally different story. I was in the room on the computer by myself, I had headphones, etc.} And, I passed! I felt like I had earned my badge that day!
So, fast forward to our move here, in IN. We get here, get settled, Chad took his test the first few days we were here. He did not study, the day before he backed into my moms car, got pulled over on the way here, you get the picture....and PASSES HIS TEST THE FIRST TIME. Really? Yah, not fair. He was kind enough to bring me a manual though, which I did study before I went in the first time. I dropped the kids off to school and headed to the BMV when they opened to be early enough to beat the crowds and hopefully have some quiet! Easy peasy, walked right in, took my test and was yelled at when I finished "YOU HAVE FAILED YOUR DRIVING TEST." Well, great, let's just blast that on WLFI, shall we? I wanted to climb under my chair, but I went to the desk and explained I didn't pass, was given my instructions for round two and GIVEN MY LICENSE BACK! Yippee! This meant I didn't need to rush to take the dumb test again! And, I didn't. I cried on the way home. {In my defense, I had been under a lot of pressure/stress that week and the whole test anxiety thing didn't work in my favor....} So, after waiting a good three weeks, I went back in to take the test. The day before Thanksgiving. Guess what? They were BUSY. It was LOUD. Eek, I had studied diligently the weeks before and prayed before I went in and knew if I passed this time, it would be all God. I did ask for headphones, which they gave me and I headed to the computer. And, I passed! This was the time I wish I didn't have the headphones on {see, pride there, again!}. I was SO relieved and thankful to have this behind me!
So, SD. My IL license had actually expired when I went in to take my test. So not only did I not pass that test the first time, I also didn't have a license to drive away with because they took the expired IL one. For a rule follower, this felt very wrong! I was crushed to have failed my test the first time. I am a good driver, after all. I don't get pulled over, {well, just once in Iowa but the last time I think was in college.} I don't get into accidents, {the dents in our van were not caused by me, but by the other driver in our home who shall remain nameless.} I always wear my seatbelt, pay attention and follow the rules of the road. I SHOULD HAVE PASSED MY BLASTED TEST THE FIRST TIME. But, I did not. Talk about a blow to my pride. So, I repented, studied, prayed before taking the test, put lavender essential oil on my wrist {it is calming} and went in for round two. {About the oil, I believe part of my problem is test anxiety coupled with sensory issues. When it's loud, there are lots of people around, etc. I don't do well. That was scenario 1 in SD. Scenario 2 was a totally different story. I was in the room on the computer by myself, I had headphones, etc.} And, I passed! I felt like I had earned my badge that day!
So, fast forward to our move here, in IN. We get here, get settled, Chad took his test the first few days we were here. He did not study, the day before he backed into my moms car, got pulled over on the way here, you get the picture....and PASSES HIS TEST THE FIRST TIME. Really? Yah, not fair. He was kind enough to bring me a manual though, which I did study before I went in the first time. I dropped the kids off to school and headed to the BMV when they opened to be early enough to beat the crowds and hopefully have some quiet! Easy peasy, walked right in, took my test and was yelled at when I finished "YOU HAVE FAILED YOUR DRIVING TEST." Well, great, let's just blast that on WLFI, shall we? I wanted to climb under my chair, but I went to the desk and explained I didn't pass, was given my instructions for round two and GIVEN MY LICENSE BACK! Yippee! This meant I didn't need to rush to take the dumb test again! And, I didn't. I cried on the way home. {In my defense, I had been under a lot of pressure/stress that week and the whole test anxiety thing didn't work in my favor....} So, after waiting a good three weeks, I went back in to take the test. The day before Thanksgiving. Guess what? They were BUSY. It was LOUD. Eek, I had studied diligently the weeks before and prayed before I went in and knew if I passed this time, it would be all God. I did ask for headphones, which they gave me and I headed to the computer. And, I passed! This was the time I wish I didn't have the headphones on {see, pride there, again!}. I was SO relieved and thankful to have this behind me!
I will just talk briefly about why I
believe this is a flawed system before I get to my take aways here. It doesn't
look at the big picture. It doesn't account for your driving
record/history. It doesn't ask for anything other than random data people
can memorize and discard after the test {like yours truly}. I believe a
more accurate test would take those things into account as well, as opposed to
some trivia on a computer. So, there.
But, now, the ah ha's of it all. I
let the fact that I didn't pass my test the first time impact me in ways it
shouldn't have. It affected how I felt about myself. It told me I
was a failure, which is a lie. My Bible doesn't say that. Does
yours? For some reason, I thought I was entitled to a license because of
my flawless past. My Bible doesn't say we are entitled to anything based
on our past. We are all saved by God's grace, not anything we can do on
our own. How do we view failure? I'm reading a great book by Doug
Addison called "Personal Development Gods Way," in which he says
"I now view failure as a necessary training event that will prepare me for
something in the future. I actually have changed the way that I think so
that I am not impacted by failure." So, what's your take on failure,
friends?
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