Has This Ever Happened to You?

You've had a rough morning - running late, forgot things at home, kids are fighting, emotions are high and stress is on the rise.  You feel like you're barely pulled together - did you remember to put make up on today?  You know, one of those days.....you say a prayer on the way to preschool, church, MOPS, the gym, or wherever you are going and start to feel better about the morning.  You know that bad moments don't make bad moms {thank you, Lysa Terkeurst and are in a better place than you were upon your departure.  Then, you see her  - you know, that mom.  The one who has it SO together - she is always on time, dressed perfectly, not a hair out of place, her van is clean, her kids are clean, well dressed, hair combed {not at our house!}, and of course, perfectly behaved.   Seeing her, so put together, brings up all the insecurity in you.  You start to doubt your fashion sense, your ability to keep your kids clean let alone your car, your mothering skills, you're not working out enough, etc. 

Why is it that when we start comparing our insides to others outsides we feel so yucky?  {That is a from a Hearts at Home speaker, don't remember who it was now, but will find out}.  Why do we do that to ourselves?  What we think about others based on what we see are often lies.  No one has the perfect life.  No one has perfect kids.  No one has a perfect marriage.  Let's just get that out there - PERFECT DOESN'T EXIST!  We need to be comfortable in our own skin, in who Jesus made us to be - not those around us.  Just because someone has it all together on the outside does not mean they have it all together on the inside.  I know, I've tried living that way - it doesn't work and it is exhausting!  Insecurity is a tool from the devil that he uses to steal, kill and destroy.  What are some things that can be stolen from insecurity?  Identity, joy, confidence in Christ, real-ness, relationships....what else?

My challenge for you today is try to get to know the person who is so intimidating to you.  Build a bridge and reach out.  Maybe she is intimidated by you for being so real?  Maybe she is lonely because others have continually pre-judged her like we have?  Maybe she wants to be real but needs someone like you to come alongside her to show her it's safe?  Maybe she just needs a friend?  Reach out beyond yourself and get to know them.  I bet they are more "real" than we have given them credit for just by judging them from the exterior. 

Breakthrough: Motivation or Control?

I like control.  A lot.  I've always liked control, however, I'm noticing as I get older & grow in the Lord, I don't have the same need for control that I have had in the past.  A few weeks ago, I posted this on facebook -

"Personal Motivation: Does it change with time, as you age? Discuss."

In the comments, I wrote this - "Thanks, all. This is helpful. I asked because I'm a total type A personality & used to have a high urgency/motivation to get things done. Today, I was not motivated to clean up my kitchen after lunch & wondered if it is because I'm getting older. LOL."

There is a group on facebook I'm also a part of for moms.  The group is called No More Angry Moms of Boys.  {Apparently, there are some of us out there}.  What I posted there was this - "I've been thinking about this a lot since joining this group so just want to throw it out there. I've wondered why I am so angry, what is the cause of my anger? For me, I have discovered in part it was a loss of control. To be honest, it started with pregnancy & the loss of control I felt with my body. Then, once the baby was born, not feeling like I knew how to mother because of my model. Our firstborn had colic, which left me feeling completely out of control with lots of crying/screaming. Then add an out of state move, starting over, getting pregnant unexpectedly with #2, a husband who traveled for work, being home alone with 2 children I didn't feel like I knew how to mother, a house not looking the way I wanted it to {loss of control of my house too}, being on their schedule, not mine, Then to discover we had food allergies, sensory processing disorder too was a lot! I've realized that really, being a parent has been God's way of breaking me of my control issues & letting Him be in control, like He has wanted all along & really should be. As a parent, I feel I have very little, if any control of anything."

So, how do these comments, or posts, connect?  Well, let me break it down for you.  {Break it down now!} 

Yesterday, our family was going about our normal day.  I was exercising & kept getting interrupted, even with Chad being home.  This caused some anger in me.  Anger that I couldn't even have 30 minutes to myself to exercise, which is a loss of control.  So, I let it go, get in the shower, which was also interrupted.  Anger builds.....I come out to the kitchen after I am dressed & ready & the kids are fighting.  Loss of control, again.  Anger builds some more.  What do I do at this point?  I look for something to control.  I can't control my children.  I can't control their fighting.  I can't control my interrupted exercise time or my interrupted exercise time.  So, what can I control?  Cleaning up the kitchen.  I start busting around the kitchen like no ones business to clean up that mess, man.  In the midst of it, I realized what it was about.  CONTROL.  That ugly word that it is.  

It made me reflect on the fact that there have been times when I have let the kitchen sit for a while, which isn't like me.  Dishes on the counter, food out, etc.  Oh yea, baby, I'm letting it all hang out!  BUT, what this showed me is that I am getting better at giving up control.  Things don't have to be in perfect order right away; that stress isn't there for me as much anymore, which is awesome.  What I was looking at as motivation was actually control.  So, I wasn't losing motivation, I was giving up control, which is actually a pretty sweet place to be.

Tip: Staying Organized!

I kind of like organization!  Just a little.  Ok, I have been called OCD, anal & really really really organized! It's true.  I have a knack for putting things in order & keeping things flowing well.   With that being said, I just wanted to pass a tip on that has helped us stay super organized.

This is a magnetic dry erase board that I put on the door into our garage.  {It's magnetic}.  I love it because we each have our own column, as well as a column for what's for dinner.  I love it!  I got it on clearance at Target.  Hope this inspires you!

What Can You Do in 21 Days?

For the most part, I would consider myself a "healthy" person.  I've been on a clean eating journey for the past few years, have cut out wheat & dairy, pop, sugar {especially refined sugar!}, drank lots of water & exercised regularly.  Healthy, right?  Well, in February, I did something that made me realize I wasn't quite as healthy as I thought.  I embarked upon a 21 Day Journey of health & fitness.  It was a program called the "21 Day Fix."  It came complete with portion control containers, an eating list of approved foods, dense superfood shake & exercise videos to be done daily.  It rocked my world, to be honest!

I realized that my portions were out of whack, I ate too many carbs and that I wasn't exercising enough.  And, I didn't eat as well as I thought.  My proteins & veggie portions were lacking, I wasn't eating often enough and my exercise wasn't as challenging as it could have been.  So, I stuck with it for 21 days & am hooked!  I learned better eating habits, to exercise {really exercise} daily & how to take care of myself!

Curious about the results?  I bet you are....drum roll, please!!!!

I lost 5 pounds & 10 inches in 21 days!!!  WHOO HOO!!!  Since a picture says 1000 words, here you go -

Side Before

Side After

 Front Before

Front After

So, that's what 21 days can do for you!  All in all, I learned a lifestyle change that will help me be a better wife, mom & better me.  I can't believe how great I feel after just 3 short weeks!  If you're interested in hearing more, let me know.  I'd love to answer any questions you may have!