David's Bridal, of all places. This is quite funny, now that I think about it. So, here's the dish. Chad has to be at the Boilermaker Ball tomorrow night for work. This is an event I would normally LOVE to go to. In fact, when we were dating, I dreamed of going to formals with him. {Don't judge, this is what the soap stars I watched at the time did, LOL! So, I might have been a little bit out of touch with reality then, LOL!} That combined with my deep Purdue passion would make it a no brainer that I would want to go, right? Normally, but no so much.
I'm not sure what it was exactly. Maybe the fact that I won't know anyone there. Maybe the fact that Chad will be working. Maybe the fact that I feel too old to go to grown up prom. Or, really, the reality being I didn't know what I was going to wear. Sigh. I had dresses from college {which represent old boyfriends, no thank you. No offense to them if they read this.}, old bridesmaid dresses, which were pretty old. I didn't want to go shopping because I didn't think I would find anything. I also didn't know what I was looking for, lol! Ever been there ~ need something, but ya don't know what ya need? So, that's where I was.
Enter David's Bridal on Thursday. With Landon in tow. This week has not gone down the way I would have preferred. See, in my ideal world, I would have shopped solo, but no dice. Little man had been sick this week so he had to tag along. Plus, I was running out of time! We went on Thursday, mind you, the Ball is Saturday. Yah, I may have procrastinated a bit. A-hem!
So, here I waltz into David's with my sidekick. The gal peppily asks "how can I help you?" I wanted to gag. First of all, I thought, I'm here as an older thirty-something, with a child in tow. I'm too old to be here. I'm not a bride. I'm not a bridesmaid. I'm not a mother of the bride. I'm not going to prom. This isn't my scene and I don't belong here. My hesitation about the Ball was increasing, can you tell? So I explain to Miss Peppy Pants that I'm going to the Boilermaker Ball on Saturday with my husband, I don't want to go and I don't want to spend a lot of money, so what could she do? I was totally expecting to leave empty handed. She shows me some options and leaves Landon and I to peruse the store. Surprisingly, Landon is well behaved, staying by me, being quiet. I was stumped and thought maybe this won't be so bad. I look through the dress racks, find some I like that aren't too expensive, because after all, I am not a ball going type of gal and am too practical to spend too much on a one time wear type of dress. Get me?
I noticed as I found things I liked, my attitude was changing. Dare I say, I was having fun? Mrs. Frumpy Pants with preschooler in tow was having fun? HUH, I will be! I ended up with 6 dresses Landon and I took to the dressing room. As I tried them on and they fit {halleluiah!}, I realized that this wasn't so bad. Landon was having fun, helping zip me up, offering his opinion {he liked the pink one, but I didn't get it!}, asking funny questions {hope this isn't TMI but at one point said "are those your boobs?" Um, ok.} I would go out of the dressing room because they don't have mirrors in the rooms. What is that about by the way? And, I met a friend! Super helpful young 28 year old who actually told me the dress I liked was "too old." I appreciated that, since I was already feeling a little out of my league to begin with, ha ha! She told me her top two choices, so I tried those on again, made my decision and viola! The dress had been said yes to!
Next up, shoes. Ugh. Another sore subject. I have a foot condition that only allows me to wear flats, so fancy heels were out. Thankfully they had some cute flats that they could dye to match my dress for me. At this point, I was actually liking Miss Peppy Pants from earlier, and I could tell my demeanor had changed during my time there. I checked out, feeling ready and excited to go to the Ball, finally! A feeling I didn't think would come, but it did. So, my friends, what does this have to do with life? Let me tell ya:
* I wasn't excited about the Ball because I felt unprepared. I didn't have anything to wear and didn't know if I would find anything I liked. I think part of this was because I let my past dictate my present. For me having body issues/self esteem issues/confidence issues, shopping wasn't pleasant. I didn't feel good in anything, nothing ever fit right, which didn't make me feel comfortable in anything. Truth is I wasn't comfortable in my own skin, due to a variety of reasons. How many times are we unexcited, unmotivated or we procrastinate on things because we feel unprepared and we let past experiences dictate our present? Anyone?
* I didn't think I would find what I was looking for. I feared disappointment. How many times have you tried something and been disappointed because it didn't give you the results, or desires you thought it would? "What if" is a powerful voice of the enemy when focused on the negative. Instead of saying "what if I find the perfect outfit?" I was saying "what if I DON'T find the perfect outfit?" I was going in with fear already in my mind. Ugh. Not good.
* I had Landon with me. How many times have we used our children as an excuse for something? "I can't ____________, because I have kids." "I can't __________, because I'm a mom." What does that have to do with anything, really? Turns out, I enjoyed shopping with Landon and I was glad he was there!
* It was unknown. "If I didn't find a dress there, I would have to go to the mall, to how many other stores with Landon in tow to settle for something to wear?" Hear what I was saying to myself? Negative self talk going in. Defeated before I began. Not good.
Truth be told, none of those things happened. As my time went on and my guide helped me, I felt relief. I felt hopeful. I felt optimistic I would find something that I would love. Once I had selected my dress and shoes, I went to the bathroom. As I was walking to the loo, I felt relieved, thankful, hopeful and like a load had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt at peace. It was amazing.
I wonder what situations in your life are like that? What areas do you feel unprepared? Where your past dictates your present? Fearful of disappointment or bad results? It is unknown/you don't know what to do or where to start? Negative self talk gets you? I can think of several areas for myself where this has been the case. It has been the reason I have held off on things or not done things at all. What role did the clerk play? Quite a significant one, honestly. She showed me where to look, offered her advice and help and let me figure it out on my own, but she pointed me in the right direction and helped when I needed it. {I'm sorry, I have to say this, but does she sound like a coach or what? This is what I do in my challenge groups for my challengers.....but that is not what this post is about :) } If she hadn't been there, I would have wasted more time and energy which would have led to more frustration.
As I was leaving the store, all these thoughts came to me, then it hit me! This is life. This is what happens when people get stuck, they get caught up in things they shouldn't be, and so on. This is it. So, what if we all had someone like that clerk/coach in our lives to help us? How would that help you? Personally for me, God gave me an awesome mentor in Sioux Falls who did this for me as well. She spoke into my life and helped get me going in the right direction. What a blessing! So, friends, who has been in this role for you? Isn't it amazing the lessons we can learn from doing things like going to David's Bridal? I was out of my comfort zone, after all......
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