"Personal Motivation: Does it change with time, as you age? Discuss."
In the comments, I wrote this - "Thanks, all. This is helpful. I asked because I'm a total type A personality & used to have a high urgency/motivation to get things done. Today, I was not motivated to clean up my kitchen after lunch & wondered if it is because I'm getting older. LOL."
There is a group on facebook I'm also a part of for moms. The group is called No More Angry Moms of Boys. {Apparently, there are some of us out there}. What I posted there was this - "I've been thinking about this a lot since joining this group so just want to throw it out there. I've wondered why I am so angry, what is the cause of my anger? For me, I have discovered in part it was a loss of control. To be honest, it started with pregnancy & the loss of control I felt with my body. Then, once the baby was born, not feeling like I knew how to mother because of my model. Our firstborn had colic, which left me feeling completely out of control with lots of crying/screaming. Then add an out of state move, starting over, getting pregnant unexpectedly with #2, a husband who traveled for work, being home alone with 2 children I didn't feel like I knew how to mother, a house not looking the way I wanted it to {loss of control of my house too}, being on their schedule, not mine, Then to discover we had food allergies, sensory processing disorder too was a lot! I've realized that really, being a parent has been God's way of breaking me of my control issues & letting Him be in control, like He has wanted all along & really should be. As a parent, I feel I have very little, if any control of anything."
So, how do these comments, or posts, connect? Well, let me break it down for you. {Break it down now!}
Yesterday, our family was going about our normal day. I was exercising & kept getting interrupted, even with Chad being home. This caused some anger in me. Anger that I couldn't even have 30 minutes to myself to exercise, which is a loss of control. So, I let it go, get in the shower, which was also interrupted. Anger builds.....I come out to the kitchen after I am dressed & ready & the kids are fighting. Loss of control, again. Anger builds some more. What do I do at this point? I look for something to control. I can't control my children. I can't control their fighting. I can't control my interrupted exercise time or my interrupted exercise time. So, what can I control? Cleaning up the kitchen. I start busting around the kitchen like no ones business to clean up that mess, man. In the midst of it, I realized what it was about. CONTROL. That ugly word that it is.
It made me reflect on the fact that there have been times when I have let the kitchen sit for a while, which isn't like me. Dishes on the counter, food out, etc. Oh yea, baby, I'm letting it all hang out! BUT, what this showed me is that I am getting better at giving up control. Things don't have to be in perfect order right away; that stress isn't there for me as much anymore, which is awesome. What I was looking at as motivation was actually control. So, I wasn't losing motivation, I was giving up control, which is actually a pretty sweet place to be.
No comments :
Post a Comment