Christmas and Expectations......

Why, hello there!  It's Christmas Eve and I'm blogging.  It's been a whirlwind of a month here.  There have been Christmas parties, Christmas programs, and lots of extras this month.  Our "normal" life schedule is pretty full as it is, but adding a few extras this month meant some things didn't get done. Our Christmas gifts are not wrapped as of yet. Our Christmas letters did not go out this month.  I didn't get gifts purchased for everyone I would have liked to have had a gift for this year.  The sad reality is that everything on my "expectation list" didn't get completed.  And, ya know what?  I am so ok with that.  

In the beginning of the month, there was a lot of pressure I was putting on myself to get all of these things done.  Things that seemed so important and that HAD TO happen.  In honest reality, none of those things needed to happen and Christmas is still coming without those things being done.  Best of all, Christmas is still Christmas and the meaning of it is the same.  Not because of what we got done or didn't get done; not because of who we bought for, or who we didn't buy for; but because of Jesus.  He is the reason we celebrate this day.  All of the other stuff is just extra. 

About mid December, when the realization hit that all of these things wouldn't happen, a peace came over me.  I heard the voice of God say "treat people like it's Christmas year-round.  Don't just buy them a gift because it's Christmas and you feel like you have to.  Love them year round.  Don't make December a time to love and give, do that year round." 

That was such a relief to me!  See, it's so easy during this time to get caught up in what our expectations or what others expect of us during Christmas.  But, the main thing is what does Jesus expect of us?  I don't think He expects us to act differently around Christmas than we do during the year, does He?  My intention for 2016 is to live each day like it's Christmas.  To be generous year round.  To love others year round.  To share year round.  To care year round.  For me, it's not just doing to be about doing things in the Christmas season, but make it a way of life. Care to join me?

My Gripe With the 21 Day Fix.....

After all the raving I've done about the 21 Day Fix, {you can read my story here} it might be surprising to hear me have a gripe with it, I bet?  Yes?  Well, I hope you know by now if you know me in person or have followed me, that I strive to be totally transparent.  I've sometimes been called direct, which I'm not sure if that is good or not, but I sure don't want to not be upfront and honest about anything, so here goes......

The 21 Day Fix is not a quick fix!  It is a 21 Day program, yes, but it is not intended or designed to be the end all be all after 21 days. It's merely meant to be a stepping stone to get you headed in the right direction.  A springboard, if you will.  It is nearly impossible to achieve and accomplish long term results in such a short 3 week period. My concern is for those who have done the program and either don't finish it {which has happened}, or who think they will meet all of their goals in those 3 weeks and be on their merry little way.  No, no, no, that is simply not the case.  

Let's say someone, hypothetically, does the 21 Day Fix and has great results at the end of their 3 weeks.  They drink their 30 day supply of Shakeology that came with their challenge pack, they have eaten approved foods from the clean eating list, used their portion control containers, drank their allotted amount of water per day and done the corresponding exercise videos as well.  They have followed the program!  As a result, they see and experience the results of feeling great, having more energy, and even lost a few pounds and/or inches.  They have such great success and feel so confident in their results that they go back to their pre 21 Day Fix lifestyle.  They aren't drinking Shakeology, they are not eating clean, they are not using the nutrition guide and eating the appropriate number of portions, they have slacked on their water intake and are not exercising anymore.  What do you think is going to happen?  They have just undone everything they did in those 3 weeks!  And, they might even say the program didn't work for them!  Yikes!

Or perhaps, they didn't see the results they wanted soon enough, so they decided to quit and throw in the towel.  Or, maybe they saw results, but those around them didn't at the end of the 3 weeks so they gave up. 

I'm not sure but I do know this.....our society has trained us to live in a quick fix society and if something doesn't happen as quickly as it things it does, we give up on the process.  We have somewhat lost the ability to see the process through.  In our world of microwave dinners, drive thrus, smart phones, wi-fi, we have been taught instant gratification.  The kicker is with weight loss, we didn't put it on in a day, so why do we expect it to come off in such a short amount of time?  Hmmmm......

I've been reading a number of great books lately.  Some of them include "The Compound Effect," "The Slight Edge," "The Miracle Morning"......all great reads.  And, they all have one thing in common.  They each talk about how it's the seemingly insignificant things we do day in and day out, compounded over time that have the biggest impact on our lives.  They use all sorts of examples from money {compound interest}, weight loss, personal growth/development, etc.  I think that is where so many folks get caught up.....either they don't see the consequences of those daily choices {think a soda pop habit, a smoking habit, a junk food habit, a spending habit, etc.} because they don't have INSTANT consequences.  If people would eat a hamburger and have a heart attack right afterwards, I bet the fast food business would take a dive.  But, see, that's not how it works. It's the having a hamburger every week over time that gets ya.  Yet, we don't have the ability to see that.  We don't understand that all of our choices are either adding up for our benefit or our detriment.  Does this make any sense?  If not, please read one or all of the books I've just listed.  They might possibly change your mindset, as they have mine.

So, back to the 21 Day Fix.....my gripe with it is that not everyone has the desire/ability/motivation/vision/not sure what else to say? to trust the process and continue it after the 21 days are over.  I'm not sure why, I wish I did.  Of course, I have some thoughts and ideas, but those are for another time......

If you have questions about the 21 Day Fix, please fire away!  Happy to help in any way I can.  This program can really be a game changer, if you continue and see it through.  It is a lifestyle change, not a quick fix.  I believe in you and want you to be the best version of yourself possible!  You and your family are worth that!!!!

Love and belief,
Melissa

Let's Talk About PTSD.....

Yup, I'm goin' there.  Have you ever seen something in passing and the thought crosses your mind "maybe I should do something with this?" Then life goes on, you get sidetracked and forget, then something similar shows up again?  And, again?  Then you KNOW you have to act on it, right?Well, thus this post.

Funny thing is I don't mind talking about PTSD.  In some ways it is therapeutic and if it can help others who might have or have had PTSD, so be it.  I'm all for sharing to help others! These are some things that have been on my heart for sometime and I'm finally getting them out there.  If you note the date, yes, I am writing this on my birthday.  I'm also ok with that.  They say you make time for what is important to you.  Well, this is important to me, or I wouldn't be taking time to write it now! Without further adieu......

A few days ago, a friend posted this picture on facebook.  Interesting, right?  Since I'm a processor, I've been thinking about this for a few days.....the saying "heal the gut, heal the brain came to mind." Which then made me think back to where that all started. Right before we moved to Sioux Falls from Champaign, Lauren was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder {SPD} and food intolerances to wheat and dairy.  When we got to Sioux Falls, we were connected with an awesome chiropractor who helped get us straightened out - got Lauren on a good probiotic, helped us make a few more dietary tweaks, helped us with some OT stuff, that kind of thing.  She is also the one who told me "heal the gut, heal the brain," and taught me about how our gut affects so much of our health.  This picture reflects that.

I then began my own stroll down memory lane, to when I was first diagnosed with PTSD.  The first step was meds.  Prozac to be honest. That lasted for a few days, maybe 2? It made me feel so much worse than I did before I was on it. Something was off, I knew it wasn't right. Since that didn't work, the next step was to meet with a holistic doctor. She was amazing!  She looked at everything....my blood, my oxygen, my saliva, my potty, you name it, it was looked at. She met with me for about 4 hours and did a comprehensive evaluation of EVERYTHING. We talked about how I felt, what made me angry, what seemed to "trigger" me, etc.  It was incredible!  I loved that she took time with me to look at the WHOLE picture, vs. saying "ok, you have PTSD, take this pill." She really got to know me, my history, my diet and exercise habits {lack thereof back then}, sleep, everything. She then went on to let me know I was pre-diabetic, my vitamin and mineral levels were completely depleted, my iron was off and I was a hot mess, basically. Of course she didn't say that to me, but wow, I was.  My diet consisted of carbs, pop, processed foods, candy, food dyes, etc.  Our meal rotation that I cooked consisted of frozen pizza, pigs in blankets with peas, tacos, take out and that's about it.  Yah, crap food city, friends.  Been there, done that.  So, I agreed to take the 20+ vitamins she recommended {not even kidding. Chad is saying several thousands of dollars worth!} And, ya know what?  I started to feel better - not only mentally but physically.  My diet was still in the ditch, but I was taking small steps to get better.

Fast forward to February 2014, enter the 21 Day Fix.  This was the major step for me, I believe.  Prior to this, I discovered I also had gluten and dairy issues, so had cut those out. I was also cutting out some processed foods, had cut out pop, but still wasn't doing as well as I could be.  The 21 Day Fix changed my life. That sounds dramatic, I realize, but it did. For the first time really in a LONG time, I felt alive again.  I had energy and could handle life and the situations that came my way....hello, I'm a parent!  I noticed my fog began to lift, my depression started to ease, my anger was fading, anxiety was going, I was a new person!  It was amazing!  I can only share my experiences and what clean eating and exercise have done for me.  I'm a believer!

It's interesting, with the roadtrips we have taken this year, I have splurged on them.  Ya know, Garrett's' caramel corn in Chicago, that sort of thing.  Every time we have taken a road trip and I have had sugar/gluten/dairy, I become a very angry person a few days later. That is the only common denominator with my anger is the food.  {You better believe I avoided this at Thanksgiving!!!  And, the ride home was much better!}  Once again, I am seeing the connection of how food affects our minds.

So, mind you, all this is going through my mind, then a friend posts this the other day. An article called "The Real Cause of

Depression May Have Nothing at All to Do With Your Mind" The link is here:

http://themindunleashed.org/2015/11/the-real-cause-of-depression-may-have-nothing-at-all-to-do-with-your-mind.html

Again, it makes the connection between food and our minds. Heal the gut, heal the brain. It's so true!  In fact, while we were away for Thanksgiving, I ran across this picture from when Lauren was a baby and wrote up some words that described how I felt at the time. Then, I did a more recent picture of the two of us with words of how I currently feel. 

              

 

                                                             

The changes ~ a supernatural touch from God and cleaning up my diet and incorporating exercise!  That's it!  So if you wanna know why I'm so passionate about this, now you know!  It's not about weight loss, it never has been for me! That's can be a by product, which some folks need, yes. But for me, this is about helping others be healthy, healed and whole, the way God made us to be.  He didn't intend for us to abuse our bodies and put all this junk into them that we do, friends. Please hear my heart here, if you are struggling and are looking for someone to come alongside you and help, I'd love to help.  You are worth it!  Your family is worth you being healthy and around to ENJOY them!  

Love and hugs,

Melissa

3 Day Refresh, Update!

After my last experience with the 3 Day Refresh, I decided to try it again, a year later. My thoughts going in were triple fold.

1. I wanted to see if us being in a more stable point in our lives would make a difference {last time I did the 3 Day Refresh, we were in a very uncertain point of life with an upcoming move, lots of unknowns, etc.}  It was important for me to know if the possibility of our situation swayed my outlook on the 3 Day Refresh.

2. We had just gotten off of a long weekend in Chicago where I over-indulged on all foods Chicago. You know, Giordino's Pizza, Garrett's popcorn, need I say more?  LOL :)

3. I had gotten into a slippery slope with sugar again and really just needed the freedom from it, so needed to see if this would affect me in that way.

Interestingly enough, I ended up doing the 3 Day Refresh this time while Chad was away. He was concerned about this, knowing how round 1 went last time.  But, me....I was more confident.  I started it on a Monday and continued until Wednesday, doing the full 3 days.  {Chad was gone Tuesday-Friday of this week}.

It makes me so happy to say that this experience was much much better!  I was a little more tired than normal on day 1, but day 2 and day 3, I would say my energy level was normal.  {Please note, I did not work out during this time!}  But, I did follow the program to a T, which was exciting for me.  I needed the challenge of knowing I could do it, especially with where my eating habits had been prior to the Refresh.  I felt great, I was in a good mood, energy level was good after the first day, my thinking was straight.  All went well the 3 days I did the refresh!

But, let me tell you what happened on day 1 AFTER the refresh.  Lauren had brought home some leftover Halloween candy from school.  Being the good mom that I am, I didn't let her have it, so I put it in my purse, knowing I was committed to the Refresh and not concerned that I would slip. However, Thursday, I slipped.  I ate all the chocolate candy in her bag {I think there were 3 pieces?} A few hours later, a headache appeared.  A few hours after that, a fit of rage hit.  I was way out of control, likely from the sugar and chemicals in the candy.  All that junk had been out of my system for 3 whole days and I felt great.  Emotionally, I felt very stable, then I ate the candy........

Was I upset with myself?  Somewhat.  Did I learn a HUGE lesson?  Yup, sure did.  It just reconfirmed that what we eat affects not only our minds, but our emotions as well.  What we put into and on our bodies affects us.  I am living proof.  Friends, I care about you so much.  I know first hand from myself and my children how foods affect our minds, and our behavior.  That's why I do what I do.  To educate.  To help.  To inform.  The holidays are coming up and maybe it's too much for you to start a program like the 21 Day Fix, or Cize, or something like that.  What about a 3 Day Refresh, coupled with drinking Shakeology every day?  That might be a great way to ease into making the changes you want and need to.

So, how can I help you?  Let me know.....I'm always here and ready to help.

{Note, I will add I did not take before or after pictures, measurements or weight before hand, as my motivation for doing this was not weight loss.  It was to feel better and get rid of some of the processed, "un clean" foods I had eaten over time.}

It Isn't Really About Food, Is It?

I posted this on my facebook page the other day and am now going to expound upon it.  Here's the post, as well as picture.
"Another great email message from Christine Caine today. This picture was below, as well as this verse ~ "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. (1 Corinthians 10:31)" I have been thinking about this a lot.

Church, aren't we called to be set apart? If we eat and drink for the glory of God, doesn't WHAT we eat and drink matter? Doesn't what we put in our bodies matter? I think it does. Our bodies are to be temples....so, how are you treating your temple? See, what gets me is that we are not TAUGHT how to eat right, or to eat well, or to read labels, or how much water to drink, or what type of exercises to do. We continue in this vicious cycle, which isn't healthy and quite honestly is killing us. Isn't it time to rise up, and be good stewards of what we have been given? You only have one body to live in, so why not treat it with love and respect?"  That concludes the post. I would now like to expound upon it.

This weekend, we had the opportunity to attend a conference for people in ministry.  It's always interesting to me to see what type of food and drink they serve at events, especially the faith based ones.  See, it seems to me as though this is an area where the devil has gotten us as believers ~ the area of being disciplined with what we eat and drink; the area of taking care of our temples; the area of self control; the area of gluttony, particularly around food.  "It's not drugs!," some may say.  Or, "it's not alcohol," say others.  Or "it's legal." Exactly.  That is why it is a trap, because it is legal.  There is nothing wrong, immoral, illegal, or even sinful about eating, is there?  Nope, sure isn't.  We need to eat to survive, yes? However, it is a HEART ISSUE.

See, when we are eating out of brokenness, or stress, or seeking "comfort food," that is a sin.  Why?  Because it is idolatry.  We are turning away from God and turning to something else.  Yet, the church continues to do it, day in and day out.  Sometimes it is even promoted within the church at various events.  All you-can-eat type events, potlucks, that sort of thing.  Again, I am not saying that these things are wrong or sinful, please don't hear me saying that.  Let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater, but when we are encouraging or helping people to stumble, rather than helping them, we are part of the problem.  For example, a lot of events in the community revolve around food, yes? Pancake breakfasts, fish frys, cookouts, festivals, fairs, etc. You can always count on food that isn't good for us at those events.  It would be like taking an alcoholic to a bar, walking them around and expecting them to not be tempted.  It's not going to happen, is it?  So it is with us.  The exception is our addiction is legal.  It is accepted.  It is encouraged.  It is promoted.

So, back to the event this weekend.  The food. All in all, was not too bad.  There were cookies {more than once offered during the day}, soda/pop, whatever you call it, some protein and lots of carbs at lunch.  There were no fruits and not too much veggie-wise.  The problem, I see, is that it really isn't about the food, but how we are using the food and what the food is for.

See, I have learned on my journey that food is fuel.  Food is energy.  Food gives you what you need to be well fueled, prepared and ready to handle your day.  Food is not meant to be an idol, a comfort, a soother, a helper. That is what Jesus is.  So when we turn to food instead of Jesus for that, that's a problem.  From my personal experience, I had to have some inner healing take place before I was ready to tackle the food area of my life. Food was my comfort, my refuge, my solace, my comforter....anyone relate?  I was using food where I should have been turning to God.  So the problem, as I see it, is we are hurt and wounded and turning to the wrong source for healing.  Instead of turning to the One who can heal us, bind up our wounds and hurts, we are turning to something that is killing us.....both spiritually and physically.

The other problem I see is we can't give someone something we don't have.  Yes?  So, if we are ministering out of this unhealed part of us, turning to food to "help" us, aren't we teaching those we minister to to do the same? Instead of helping them be free and well, we are crippling them as well because of our own issues.  Is that why the church is so wounded? I don't know.  I'm just speculating.  From doing a quick Google search, the following caught my eye, published earlier this year

~"More than a third of American clergy are obese, according to a new study from Baylor University." Google it and see what you find.


From my own past with food and current experiences, there is a problem in the church. It's an area we either go after, repent from and transform our minds, or the devil continues to win in this area of the Bride.

What say you, church? Are you ready to rise up and take care of your temple the way we were intended to? I'm here and ready to help when you are. We already know who wins the battle, so why let the enemy keep picking on you?

Losing Your Voice?

Have you ever lost your voice?  Whether it be literally {like physically lost your voice}, or feel like you have lost your voice/presence, it stinks! While I'm not sure I have totally 100% ever physically lost my voice, I do feel like I have lost my voice/presence.  The sad thing is I'm not exactly sure when or how it happened. As a kid, I remember being pretty loud and probably obnoxious.  Then, it seemed like it was about attention, wanting and needing attention, so I did what would work to get it.

It seems as though this carried into college, but somewhere along the way, my voice got lost.  While I think I know when it may have happened, it's surprising how much of an impact that has had.  It's interesting, because I remember talking in groups and people saying "what?  I can't hear you," or "please speak up."  When Chad and I first started dating, he would say that a lot.  It wasn't that I was mumbling, but that I was quiet.  My voice was gone.  Almost like I didn't feel like I had any worth in what I said, or a lack of value, maybe?  It's interesting because growing up some of my dreams were to become a t.v. broadcaster, and aerobics instructor, things that required being up front, in front of people.  My freshman year of college, COM 114 {speech} was my favorite class because I loved public speaking!  Yet, somewhere during my 4 year college experience and even after that, my voice began to wither......

While I believe there are several contributing factors to this, it's interesting how I have not noticed it....until now.  It's an area that it seems as though God wants to work on in me. Honestly, that was part of the reason I didn't want to get certified in PiYo.  I talked about that for probably a year, but realized the fear with it, for me, was speaking into a microphone in front of people.  Hmmmm. So, I've been sitting here, afraid to do something and what does God do?  He keeps putting me in more situations that force me out of my comfort zone.   That force me to get up in front of people and speak with a microphone. {Like at church!  On the stage!  AAGGHH!}

When I made the decision to get certified in Cize, I knew that I had to do it.  The burning desire inside of me was too much to say no to. In fact, I didn't even let myself think about the microphone when I registered!  LOL.  Chad made the comment "it will be good for you." When I asked him what that meant, his reply was "I think it will take you out of your comfort zone."  Great, just what I want! The reality is I do want to grow, change and if the call on my life is to have a voice, then I need to step into that and be faithful and obedient. I don't wanna miss anything because of fear! If we do that, who wins?  Seriously.  

All this to say, God is a god of restoration. While I don't know what from your past has been lost, as my voice was, I do know He wants to restore that and use it for His good. If you're willing to let Him, it can be a wild, exhilarating ride friends!  Are you ready?  

Saving Lives

Are you a "life saver?" I would have answered this question with a "no," a few years ago. But, today, the answer would be different. There was a situation recently where someone we are close to had a health issue. In a facebook group, we were talking about bringing meals for this person and their family. "So if any one has recipes or ideas please share so we can all learn to cook healthier," was part of the post. Well, if you know me or have been following me, you know there have been some recent health changes in our lives as well and I have become a huge proponent of healthy foods, meals, clean eating, etc. This is right up my alley! I have actually made an ebook of clean eating recipes that I was thinking of posting, BUT, didn't want to come across as salesy or trying to push something. I messaged the friend who started the conversation on facebook to see what they thought, and the reply was "We all need educated and maybe save a life!! Be a blessing." Ok, then. So, the recipe book was posted.

However, the following day, the "maybe save a life," is sticking with me. See, my perception of saving lives has always been in the spiritual. Sharing the Gospel, inviting people into relationship with Jesus as their Lord and Savior. So, "saving," was a spiritual mindset for me. However, that transfers to the physical/natural realm as well. If we are physically dead, can we make a spiritual impact? I don't think so. Now it feels like God is calling me to save lives not only in the spiritual, but the physical as well. And, it's not about weight, folks. Anyone who thinks that is missing the boat. Did you know that the following diseases are related to foods: 

* Obesity 

* Diabetes 

* Cardiovascular disease 

* Osteoporosis

Just to name a few. Did you know that fast food increases the risk of heart disease and diabetes? Do we wonder why we as a nation are so sick? Look at our lifestyles. We are busy, we are not intentional about what we eat, we eat on the go, throwing fast food into our mouths more than we should be. We are eating for comfort, not to fuel our bodies. We are turning to food to pacify, comfort us, soothe us, when in reality we need to turn to the Comforter for that. "If you're comfortable, you don't need a Comforter," is something Todd White said 5 years ago that has stuck with me. We are seeking food for something it was never intended to be used for and it's making us sick. 

The other day on facebook, I posted about fatal conveniences. See, fatal conveniences are the abundances of food, but a lack of nutrients. We live in a society of fatal conveniences, folks. Look at our busy lifestyles...going here and there, but not giving our bodies the fuel they need.

If you don't think our nation is in a health crisis, I encourage you to go where people are. The zoo is where I had my "ah ha" moment. I saw parents who were unable to keep up with their kids because their weight was preventing them from doing so. As we have been out and about, I continue to see it ~ at the mall, at the pool, at churches, anywhere people are. Do you see parents able to keep up with their children? To run and play with them at the park? To keep up with them without getting out of breath? From what I have seen, those people are becoming the minority. And, it's not ok. I am not ok with kids not being played with or enjoying their parents because their parents don't know how to take care of themselves, or aren't willing to. Is that fair to the kids? Jesus came to give us life to the FULL, yet I see people not living in that fullness He died for because of food choices, and lack of exercise. Sounds like the devil's plan to steal, kill and destroy is winning, eh?
                                         

So, if being a life saver means helping people use food as medicine, vs. poison, then yes, I'm a life saver! If you'd like me to help you with this area of your life, or if you'd like to know more about Jesus, please let me know. I would love to hear from you!

Be a blessing today, friends!  Do good!