Have you ever lost your voice? Whether it be literally {like physically lost your voice}, or feel like you have lost your voice/presence, it stinks! While I'm not sure I have totally 100% ever physically lost my voice, I do feel like I have lost my voice/presence. The sad thing is I'm not exactly sure when or how it happened. As a kid, I remember being pretty loud and probably obnoxious. Then, it seemed like it was about attention, wanting and needing attention, so I did what would work to get it.
It seems as though this carried into college, but somewhere along the way, my voice got lost. While I think I know when it may have happened, it's surprising how much of an impact that has had. It's interesting, because I remember talking in groups and people saying "what? I can't hear you," or "please speak up." When Chad and I first started dating, he would say that a lot. It wasn't that I was mumbling, but that I was quiet. My voice was gone. Almost like I didn't feel like I had any worth in what I said, or a lack of value, maybe? It's interesting because growing up some of my dreams were to become a t.v. broadcaster, and aerobics instructor, things that required being up front, in front of people. My freshman year of college, COM 114 {speech} was my favorite class because I loved public speaking! Yet, somewhere during my 4 year college experience and even after that, my voice began to wither......
While I believe there are several contributing factors to this, it's interesting how I have not noticed it....until now. It's an area that it seems as though God wants to work on in me. Honestly, that was part of the reason I didn't want to get certified in PiYo. I talked about that for probably a year, but realized the fear with it, for me, was speaking into a microphone in front of people. Hmmmm. So, I've been sitting here, afraid to do something and what does God do? He keeps putting me in more situations that force me out of my comfort zone. That force me to get up in front of people and speak with a microphone. {Like at church! On the stage! AAGGHH!}
When I made the decision to get certified in Cize, I knew that I had to do it. The burning desire inside of me was too much to say no to. In fact, I didn't even let myself think about the microphone when I registered! LOL. Chad made the comment "it will be good for you." When I asked him what that meant, his reply was "I think it will take you out of your comfort zone." Great, just what I want! The reality is I do want to grow, change and if the call on my life is to have a voice, then I need to step into that and be faithful and obedient. I don't wanna miss anything because of fear! If we do that, who wins? Seriously.
All this to say, God is a god of restoration. While I don't know what from your past has been lost, as my voice was, I do know He wants to restore that and use it for His good. If you're willing to let Him, it can be a wild, exhilarating ride friends! Are you ready?
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