The quick fix. You know what I'm talking about right? Oh, you know....just wanting everything to either "Poof! Disappear and go away!" or "Magically get better." It seems like lots of people want that, but they don't want to do the work it takes to get results. I see it a lot with health, wellness, weight loss, but believe it's affecting us in other areas as well. Relationships, for example. Marriages. Relationships with our kids. Our friends. Neighbors. At church. Anywhere, really. Our lack of knowing how to work through things is affecting many many areas of our lives. I see it daily.
What really gets me with this are a few things, really. The mindset. Do we think we are entitled to certain things because of who we are? Is that a part of it? Why do we think we deserve something we aren't willing to work for? Chances are our actions have gotten us where we are and we don't like that so we want to snap our fingers and make it all better, or go away. Why is that? Why don't we realize our actions or lack of actions have led us to this point? that there are consequences, positive or negative, for what we do or don't do. You know, for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, right?
Or there is the victim mentality. "I can't because __________." "It wasn't my fault, it was so and so's fault." Basically saying "I'm not responsible for my own actions." Um ok. Since when is that the case?
What about the "I don't want to be rude/hurt feelings?" This seems to be really prevalent with food. "I ate something I shouldn't have because I didn't want to be rude to those serving me." I understand that, I don't want to be rude either, but at what point are you in charge of your actions, choices, etc? If someone offered you a cigarette, would you feel rude saying no? What about at the drive through when they ask you to Super Size it? Is that rude to say no to those folks, too? I don't think so. Do you feel hurt when someone tells you "no thank you," and then think the rest of the day about how rude they were to you? I don't. So why do we do that with food or other things?
Now, I'm going to talk health/wellness/weight loss here. I don't understand how people think they can eat like crap for 25 years, then all of a sudden think a pill will make them thin? How does that work? Or other products on the market for weight loss {wraps, pills, oils, etc} How does that change anything? It doesn't. It might give you short term results, but the sustainability isn't there. You're not learning how to change your behavior. You're not learning how to re-train your brain and your habits. You are taking a quick fix that quite honestly I don't think makes sense. I have tried so many things out there and none of them worked for me. None of them taught me how to eat, or why to eat that why. I didn't learn how to exercise effectively. I didn't learn anything, I just took/used the product, didn't change my behaviors and expected to see change. I wanted a quick fix. It didn't work. For sustainable change. you have to learn to change. Change your mindset. Change your habits. Change your situation. As you likely know for me, that change was a lifestyle change, not a quick fix. {You can read more here.}
The other area I see this a lot in is in freedom from the past. It's hard to work to admit where you've come from, what's happened, what you've done, etc. And it's harder work to pursue healing for it. A lot of people don't seem to want to do the work to get results, which just baffles my mind. Yes, it's hard, I get that! But it's harder to live in that place of bondage, paralysis, and the pit of the past. Believe me, been there, done that, bought the t-shirt as they say. Has it been hard? YES. Has it been worth it? HECK YES! Would I go back and change anything? NO WAY JOSE.
Freedom isn't free, it's worth fighting for though, friends. You are worth fighting for. So, what's holding YOU back? Is it you? Stop it! Is it what others might think? Stop giving them that much control over you! Is it fear? That's False Evidence Appearing Real. It's also a tactic of the devil to steal, kill and destroy, which is exactly what he's doing if you're not free. So, if you're ready to do the work, freedom is waiting for you! But, you do have to do the work. It's not just going to come. But, I promise you, it is SO worth it! Let me know if I can help. God has given me freedom in many areas and I love to help others find freedom as well.
Busy, busy, busy, busy! We are all so busy, aren't we? It's like we thrive on how busy we are, how much we can cram into our already full lives, schedules, just to see how busy we can be. I really can't stand the word busy. It makes me cringe. Why? I'm glad you asked :) There are a few reasons ~
1. For me, we were always busy! I grew up in a very busy home. That taught me to always be busy. In fact, in high school, college and even for a bit after college, I THRIVED on being busy! How much could I take on? How much could I do? Ya know what it led to? Burn out. Adrenal fatigue. Exhaustion. Crabbiness. Lack of self care. For me, being busy became a coping mechanism to not handle any of my "junk." This may or may not be the case for you, but it certainly was for me. When I was busy, I didn't have time to think about past pain, wounds, or things that needed healing in my life, because I was just too busy. Being too busy denied me the opportunity to heal.
2. I believe we are all in charge of our days, our schedules our lives. Granted, there are some things that are out of our control, but for the most part, we can say yes or we can say no. I can hear it now "but my kids to this and this and this and this." Ok, so, who's in charge of the kids schedules? You or them? You can tell them no. You might not want to, but as parents, it's our responsibility to set the boundaries for our kids. You can say yes or no. Setting boundaries for kids teaches them to set boundaries for them as adults too. It's a great teaching opportunity too.
3. Finally, I heard someone in church say busy stands for:
Buried
Under
Satan's
Yoke
My eyes were open wide when I heard this. At that time, I took off my "busyness badge," and decided to change my ways.
I get it. Our lives are full, we have responsibilities, families, commitments, etc. How we navigate those commitments is huge! What are we saying yes to? What are we saying no to?WHY are we doing these things? I encourage you to ask WHY before signing up, saying yes, committing. What is the reason behind it? Do you have room in your life to add something new in? Just some food for thought so you are not too busy! Enjoy!
I'm trying to figure out if part of what is going on with me is that I care too much? Am I too sensitive? Take things too personally? Have you ever been told or thought any of those things about yourself? Well, I have. And, right now, I'm trying to figure out what is going on! Maybe you have some insights, friends?
I get upset about things. Good things, meaningful things. Not things that don't matter like someone cutting me off in traffic, or honking at me, or something like that. I get upset when people believe lies. I get upset when they don't know the Word enough to combat the devil with the truth that is sharper than any double edged sword. I get upset when people lie. Stormie Omartian says in her book "The Power of a Praying Parent," something like when you lie, you align yourself with the devil. {On that note, please don't ever lie to me to "make me feel better," or to "not hurt my feelings." Lying hurts more than either of those.} I get upset when people don't take care of themselves by paying attention to what they put in and on their bodies. I get upset when people think they aren't worth it. I get upset when injustice occurs. I get upset when people don't follow through.
As I look at this list, there are a lot of opportunities to be upset, aren't there? Are these things personal? I don't know, sometimes they are. Sometimes they play into my wounds, past hurts, which is why they bother me. The other part of my being upset is we are in a battle and it seems like the devil is winning because we are unequipped and unprepared to handle him. If we don't know the Word, which is truth, how can we know what is a lie? In looking at this list, it seems a lot of these things that upset me are Biblical. We are to know the truth, and it will set us free {John 8;32} The Word is sharper than any double edged sword {Hebrews 4:12}. "Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight." {Proverbs 12:22} "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?" {1 Corinthians 6:19} "There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood......" {Proverbs 6:16-17} The whole issue of self worth is also Biblical, if you know WHOSE you are, you know that you have a delightful inheritance! {Psalm 16:6} The one that might not be Biblically based, is the follow through. I think that is part of my woundedness. I also think that it is part of is a lack of discipline, which the Bible does talk about. We are to run the race with perseverance, right? If we are disciplined, we can run and persevere, right? When a runner is training for a run, they are disciplined with their training. So it is with us, we have to be disciplined with how we train in life.
So, what do you think? Do I care too much? Take things too personally? What's the deal? I wonder if part of it is I have lived wounded, beaten down and unvictorious for so long that I'm sick of others living there too. There IS victory in Jesus, friends! And, YOU are worth it! You were bought with a cost, so I believe you are worth it, don't you?
Ah, Mother's Day. Another one has come to a close. I have such mixed feelings about this day, which I will elaborate on here in a bit, but I found the picture above from Mother's Day 4 years ago and then, the one below, taken today. Do you see a difference? I do. The picture from today is more clear, whereas the one above is not as clear. It's not blurry, but not as clear, I would say. It's symbolic of life then and now, I think.
The Mother's Day picture from 4 years ago.....I was in a place where I didn't really enjoy my kids. For Mother's Day, I wanted to be left alone. Honestly, I did. Chad let me stay Friday night at a local hotel and have all day Saturday to myself. I got coffee, shopped, had a "Melissa Day." In fact, the dress in the picture, I bought that just for Mother's Day! As you may be able to tell, I wasn't in a great place then. I'm not sure if I had been diagnosed with PTSD by that point, or if it was later, but I know that did occur while we were in IL, where the picture was taken. I wasn't able to enjoy the blessings in my life, including my children. I was crabby, angry, tired all the time, frustrated and really felt cruddy ~ physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It makes me sad to think about the place I was in when that picture was taken. No wonder it's not as clear as the picture from today......BUT GOD!
But God.....intervened, interceded, rescued, healed and delivered that mama in the picture above and transformed her into the mama who is below. The picture is more clear from today, isn't it? I am more "real" in the picture below, more comfortable in my own skin today. I don't feel like I have to be dressed up, in a perfect picture.....I can be me. And, that is freeing. Heck, look at what I'm wearing! Yoga pants :) I will be honest with you, part of me had a bad attitude about today. It was Mother's Day after all, the kids were supposed to be on their BEST behavior. This is MY day, after all. The one I get all year long! They are not supposed to fight, argue, chase each other, provoke one another, or even really speak. I wanted them to be perfect quiet cherubs all day long. {Where's the mute button?} RIGHT? Um, not so much. They are kids! {Truth be told, I'm partially writing this so when I read this next year, my expectations are REALISTIC, not pie in the sky, as they started off today.} Thankfully, I was able to turn it around before dinner time and not let the fact that they are kids ruin the whole day and evening and carry on into tomorrow and the week. {This would have happened in the above picture, by the way.} I actually felt a huge sigh of relief when they went to bed, because the pressure was off. Isn't that silly? Where is the pressure coming from? Myself? Hallmark? Society? I'm not sure, but it's an interesting observation I had at bedtime.
It's always fascinating to be in a place where you can see things as they are now, and how they were back then. As hard as it was, I'm thankful for the then's, because they enable me to look back and see where God has brought me from. And, truthfully, I have no desire to go back there whatsoever. "My chains are gone, I've been set free." It is amazing love, isn't it? Happy Mother's Day, mama friends. Let your kids be kids and enjoy the ride, k? {And this is for me to remember for next year!!!}
So, you may know if you've followed me on facebook, that I'm reading a book called "Super Life." This book has been life changing and really changed the way I feel/think/view food.
Let me share some of the powerful "nuggets" I have gotten from it:
"When we eat, we open our bodies wide and expose ourselves, every single cell, to whatever's out there in our environment. It's how we turn the out there into the in here. When we eat, those external things actually become us. Our organs, bones, muscles, nerves, skin, blood and everything else are made from what we eat and drink ~ there's nothing else to work with. Before we were born, we were completely created, cell by cell, by what our mothers ate and drank. Today, it's no different, except now we're the ones doing the eating and drinking, inventing our bodies."
"Here's how dramatically food can change when we tamper with it. A large-scale study published in the British Medical Journal found that people who ate fruit at least twice a week - especially apples, blueberries, and grapes - were up to 23% less likely to develop type 2 diabetes than those who ate fruit no more than once a month. But subjects who drank fruit juice once a day or more had an increased risk of developing diabetes, up to 21% higher than those who did not."
"We get calories - which we need to survive of course, but very little else. None of the nutrition {talking about processed foods here}. As Dr. Fuhrman puts it, we end up mechanically full, but nutritionally starved. If we do that often enough, we will absolutely harm ourselves at the cellular level. Over time, that may bring some chronic condition."
"Eating is the single most important thing we can do to stay healthy. If good, clean food isn't worth our money, what is?"
"The symptoms of acidosis ~ fatigue, lack of energy and motivation, moodiness, headaches, cramps, poor digestion, heartburn, dry skin and hair, and cold hands and feet ~ are the same minor complaints and everyday aches and pains that people suffer stoically, thinking they can't be helped. Just normal adult life, right? Wrong. They're not minor problems, and they're not normal. And the fact that lots of other people complain about the same things doesn't mean these conditions are acceptable, let alone inevitable. These are all signs of an overly acidified internal environment, which could mean we're headed for something catastrophic."
"Antidepressants are among the most commonly prescribed drugs today, even though science has proven how strongly nutrition influences our mental and emotional states."
He also talks a lot about water and the quality of water. How lack of water affects our brains, our moods, our attitudes. This is powerful, friends.
I love this part ~ "We have to take responsibility for what goes into our mouths. No more autopilot. Take time to form new habits, and then it will be no big deal ~ and you will feel better because of it. It's work. But all good things are."
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I hope you know I write this and share these types of things often because I love you and care about you. I know what it feels like to be nutritionally starved. I used to live off of sugar, diet soda, big pretzels and cheese! I didn't eat vegetables or protein. I was certainly not taking care of myself. I think part of it was I didn't want to at the time and the other part was I just didn't know how to. That is why I am so passionate about helping others. I know what it is like to be where you are. Exhausted, depleted, your zeal for life is gone, because you are just getting by, slugging through the day. It doesn't have to be this way! If you are ready to make some changes, please let me help you. You don't have to do this alone! You are worth living a super life...don't you want that? I want that for you! Please let me know how I can help you. I want you to live a super life, friend!!!
I get a little annoyed when I hear people say they know a Shakeology "rep," or a Beachbody "distributor," or a "sales person." Eck. Why? Because it's so much MORE than that to me. I feel like the words "rep," "distributor," "sales person," all imply sales. A "one and done" type thing. This is so NOT that for me. I'm a coach. And, I'm proud of that! What does the word coach mean? Well, glad you asked :) I found two definitions that were intriguing ~
1. a person who teaches and trains the members of a sports team and makes decisions about how the team plays during games
2. a large usually closed four-wheeled horse-drawn carriage having doors in the sides and an elevated seat in front for the driver
The first one makes sense, right? Someone who teaches and trains. That's what I do in my online challenge {or accountability} groups. I teach and train. It's sharing information, education, motivation, support, recipes, ideas as well as offering accountability. I gotta tell you, I love the groups. Each one takes on it's own personality and they are so fun! It's like this huge cheering section of new friends encouraging and supporting one another for a common goal. They are simply awesome. No other word to describe it. Something super special happens in those groups for sure!
The second definition baffled me at first, but as I think about it, it also makes sense. In essence, definition two talks about a coach CARRYING people to a location, right? The driver is in an elevated seat up front. Why? To see what's ahead. Why? Because they have been on this road before. Ah ha, so that definition might ring a little more true now, eh? As a coach, I am simply someone who has been in my challengers shoes before and can help carry them to their goals. I provide a means of transportation, if you will, of getting there, of helping them reach their goals. Does that make sense?
So, back to why it irritates me to be called something other than a coach. This is SO not about sales for me. This is about changing lives. This is about helping people. This is about relationships. I'm not going to sell you something and disappear! {Drives me crazy when that happens, BTW. Or when I don't get a thank you note after I've bought something, but that's another topic. } I'm going to continue to support you on your journey, check in with you from time to time, add you to my graduates group where I continue to post things that will help you on your journey. I put my heart and soul into this and to be called a sales person just makes me feel icky, I gotta be honest with you. I am not just here to sell you something. Honestly, if I wanted to do that, there are lots of other opportunities out there to do that. I'm here to support, encourage, motivate, inspire and help you be the best YOU that you can be! You are worth that, your family is worth that. Don't you want that for yourself? If you do and are ready to get in the game, I'd love to be your coach! So, if it's your time to get off the sidelines and into the game, let me know. I'd love to make it happen for you! Game on!
Wow, has this week been a roller coaster! At the beginning of the week, I was hopeful, optimistic, ready to fight the good fight. Then, Wednesday hit and it was another story, LOL! It could have been the fact that Chad was traveling, the kids were both up the two nights he was gone and I was tired. I don't really know. I do know I did what I know is best for me - being in the Word, praying, eating well and exercising. That's how I take care of myself and honestly, what makes me the best I can be for my family. I think the tiredness was a fact, but also the fact that the more I learn about our food supply and the "state of the union" regarding food, if you will, it is discouraging! I feel like so many of us are unaware of what we put in our bodies, on our bodies, where it is coming from, what the ingredients really are and how they affect us and our kiddos. I feel like we are asleep and doing things because we believe it is safe, or because we are told to by someone in "authority." It's time to wake up friends! I love you and care about you and your family and that is why I'm so passionate about this!
I started reading the book "Super Life," by Darin Olien and wow, is that an eye opener! I was telling Chad some of what I was reading and his reply was "why aren't we told this? Why isn't this information known?" That is my point exactly. And, it frustrates me. I don't know if it is because we trust those who rule, regulate, create, etc. our food supply, medications, vaccines, etc.? I don't know if it is because we are too busy to do the research ourselves? I don't know if it is because we are uneducated? I truly don't know and that frustrates me. I am so passionate about this, guys! I feel like my eyes have been open to this and I want others to be too! I've been pretty transparent, I think, about sharing my food issues, as well as my children's and how that has affected us. So I can't personally deny the link between what we put in and on our bodies {and what's in the environment around us} and how that affects us. I was so discouraged and distraught earlier this week I felt like quitting! I really did. It seemed hopeless and like I was steering the Titanic {no thank you!} However, the more I pressed into God, the more I learned and read, I knew I had to be part of the solution and that quitting wouldn't accomplish that.
I was sharing some of my thoughts, feelings, etc. with my mentor who encouraged me to read the book of Lamentations in the Bible. I love the Word, believe it is sharper than any double edged sword and that it still applies to life today. So, in reading the book of Lamentations, here are some verses that stood out to me. Are ya ready? I am still kind of in shock as I type this.....here goes:
Lamentations 1:11 - "All her people groan as they search for bread;they barter their treasures for food to keep themselves alive. “Look, Lord, and consider, for I am despised.”
Lamentations 1:19b - "My priests and my elders perished in the city while they searched for food to keep themselves alive."
Lamentations 2:12 - "They say to their mothers,“Where is bread and wine?” as they faint like the wounded in the streets of the city, as their lives ebb away in their mothers’ arms."
Lamentations 2:19 - "Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin; pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord. Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children, who faint from hunger at every street corner."
Lamentations 4:4 - "Because of thirst the infant’s tongue sticks to the roof of its mouth;the children beg for bread, but no one gives it to them."
Lamentations 4:9 - "Those killed by the sword are better off than those who die of famine; racked with hunger, they waste away for lack of food from the field."
Lamentations 5:9-10 - "We get our bread at the risk of our lives because of the sword in the desert. Our skin is hot as an oven, feverish from hunger."
Wow, so much depth here. Do you see it? In the first 2 verses that are bold and in red, those words are identical in the 2 passages. "Food to keep themselves alive." That tells me food keeps us alive, yes? As I keep digging into the passage though, I notice fainting from hunger, children begging for bread, racked with hunger, risking lives for food, feverish from hunger. It's bad, friends. It's not a pretty picture. Sadly, I see the same thing happening today. As I was reading, I didn't know if they were talking about a spiritual hunger, or a real hunger? I'd venture to say both. And, it's the same thing I see happening in our world today. We are physically hungry because our bodies aren't getting what they need due to the depletion in our food supply, the busyness of our lives causing us to eat more packaged, processed foods, and less foods that are "raw," or "live" that contain what we need. Did you know the physical hunger/depletion of vitamins, minerals and nutrients affects our minds? Yup, sure does. "Heal the gut, heal the brain," is a phrase one of our chiropractors said and it is so true. I've seen it with Lauren. When we healed her gut by taking out wheat, dairy, food dyes, sugars and adding probiotics and fish oil to her diet, she was a healthy kid. A vibrant, joyful, kid full of life, as she should be! Same goes for me, as I started to take care of myself by eating clean, drinking Shakeology, cutting out wheat and dairy, drinking enough water, etc., my brain fog went away, my anger and depression lifted. Guys, there is a for sure connection between what we eat and how it affects us not only physically, but mentally as well! These are our lives and our kids lives we are talking about here. What's more important than that?
I can't help but wonder too, if the writer in Lamentations is talking about a spiritual hunger? Which is also something I see today. The church needs to wake up and start standing on the promises of God and expecting Him to do what He said He can do - miracles, healings, things we can't even imagine! It's time to stop making Him who we think He is and let Him be who He is. He's the same yesterday, today and tomorrow...so why aren't we letting Him?
Friends, I'm concerned about our society for these reasons! Will you please rise up with me? It's time to take a stand and become aware, educated and informed about what goes into our minds, as well as our bodies! Who's ready? I'm all in this and would love for others to join, as well! We're better together, right?
Love,
Melissa
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