I feel like our grass.....

So, when we moved into our new home, the builders laid sod.  When spring finally came here in SD, our grass was SO green, lush and beautiful!!  {From all the snow, maybe?}   However, there was a small problem - we had a sink hole in the front yard. 

Just a few weeks ago, the said sink hole got fixed.  They ripped up the old grass {transplant} and put in new sod.   So, now, the new sod hasn't quite acclimated to the current sod.  It looks ok, but is not quite as green and lush.  I do know that with the proper care, the sod will acclimate and re-root in with the old sod and you won't be able to tell the difference.

I feel a lot like our grass here in SD!  I'm a transplant here...I'm from Indiana originally and was living in Illinois.  I had a great support system and friends there in Illinois.  I was very well rooted there.  Once we moved, I was uprooted here to start over again.  Much like our grass.  I'm fitting in ok, but don't feel like I have deep roots here yet, which I know takes time.  I do feel a little like our sod looks, kind of out of place, but I know that will come with time too.  I do feel like we are in a great place and have a wonderful support system here, which is amazing.  I'm in awe of all the wonderful people God has put in our path and am so thankful for what He has for us here!

Return of the SPD....

It's been a rough week around these parts lately.  It's been frustrating and discouraging, to be honest.  You may recall when we moved here, Lauren wasn't doing so well in many areas - food allergies, sick at night, sensory challenges, etc.  It was a very overwhelming and emotionally trying time.  However, we had a friend from small group say "when you get to SD, she is going to be a different child."  {I really love the prophetic giftings, btw.} 

And, she was right.  We got here and Lauren really excelled!  We started seeing a wonderful chiropractor, who specializes in sensory processing disorder.  Between changing Lauren's diet {cutting out wheat and dairy}, the craniosacral therapy, supplements and adjustments, she was thriving.  She was a different child!  It was phenomenal!  So, I guess, in my mind, the sensory processing disorder went away.  But, that was not reality.

We were hit hard with the reality that she still has sensory processing disorder and will likely always have it.  Lauren transitioned from preschool {which she loved and had a best friend at} to part time day care.  Her first day at day care, she vomited.  {Chad had also had the flu the night before.}  So, between the transition {transitions are hard for kiddos with spd}, the flu and lack of sleep, it was not going well here at the Rohlfs home.  On top of that, Lauren totally regressed.....like to the point where she was before we moved.  We thought it was the combination of all 3 - the transition, the flu and the lack of sleep.  It turns out it was something else entirely different, though......

Long story short - it turns out there was a pesticide used at the day care that we suspect was affecting her.  We have taken her out of the day care and she is doing much better!  She has also been adjusted several times, as she was totally out of whack!  God provides, as we have a nanny starting in our home next week.  She is a gem!  Her current family's job situation changed, so she got laid off.  Her last day was the day I happened to call her.  So, we are looking forward to a great summer in a controlled environment for Lauren.

Lesson learned - just because something isn't visible, doesn't mean it isn't there.  We will now be more aware and know what to be aware of and look for in the future.  At the end of the day, God is always faithful and He provides!

Random Thoughts on a Monday Night in June....

It's been a while again {sigh} since I've been on here, so I'm just going to do a "brain dump."  These are things that have been on my mind that I hope to one day blog about.  Here goes:

* What is the difference between pride & confidence?
* Do you ever feel like you are doing the same things over & over again as a parent?  {Just wondering.}
* Why is it so hard to be fully present sometimes?
* How often do people see their friends who are far apart?  What is realistic?

That's all for now....

Joy in the little moments....

Aack, here I go getting behind again with my posts.  Life gets busy sometimes, you know?  Quick update, then the "meat" of my title.  Lauren is now 5!  We had a fun party for her with some of her friends from church and preschool.  I'm so thankful she has friends here and we are as settled in as we are after being here for only 6 months (about).  That is a blessing!

I've started working part time at a job and company I love!  (More about that later, in another post!)  So, adding that to the mix has been interesting, but good.  We are getting into our new routine and all is well.  So, onto the "meat."

I have learned a few things in my short journey of parenting.  The most important is this - to be sure to find joy in the little moments.  It is so easy to get caught up in the daily grind, the to do list, who needs to be where when, etc.  Life can be busy, even when you don't want it to be!  Having a family is busy, being involved in a church is busy, having relationships is busy, add on work, etc. and we are busy people!  For me, I have had to discipline myself to find joy in the little moments...you know, those sweet spots in the day where you get a cuddle, a hug, an "I love you," etc.  Instead of focusing on the negatives, or what I don't like, what isn't getting done, etc. I have chosen to focus on the sweet little fleeting moments.  When I find joy in those moments, the bigger picture is prettier!

Joyce Meyer has a new book out called "Making Good Habits and Breaking Bad Ones."  I've been able to listen to her cd on my commute to work and am really enjoying it!  She says if we focus on creating good habits, the bad habits will be broken.  Again, what are we focusing on - the good or the bad?  The Bible says "overcome evil with good."  I love that you focus on the good and not the bad. 
Here's to a joy-filled week, friends!  Choose joy!

It's like my daughters booster seat.....

Lauren will be 5 this week!  Where has the time gone?  I feel like in some ways it has slowly crept by, yet in others it has flown by right before my very eyes.  It is bittersweet, to say the least.  Lauren has been in her forward facing non-infant {is that a convertible one?} car-seat since she was 15 months old. And, she has continued to stay in that same car-seat to this present day.

We have suggested a booster for her since she turned 4, but she would have none of it.  She didn't want to have a booster, she wanted her car-seat.  Even telling her that her peers were in boosters didn't make her budge.  Seeing her friends bring their boosters into preschool for field trips wouldn't make her budge.  {I'm not sure where she gets her strong will from? :)}  She would have nothing to do with a booster and that was that.  Well, ok then.

She actually rode in a booster for the first time a few weeks ago when a preschool classmate took her from the gym to gymnastics {Thank you, Angie!}  She liked it, but wasn't ready to upgrade yet.  However, today was the fateful day.  We realized that we would need an additional seat in Chad's car since I'm starting a part time job, in the event that he would need to drop off or pick up the kids.  {We have presently done the 2 seats in the van - my car and 1 seat in his car method, which has worked out ok.}  But, that all changes this week, thus needing a new seat for the car.

We decided a booster would be easier, less expensive and she is ready for it {age and weight wise, that is.}  So, off to Target we went this afternoon, she picked out her booster and that was it.  We came home, she played with her booster, practiced sitting in it, etc.  and was very happy with it.  {Small miracle, here, folks!}

It's funny how one small change can have such an impact.  I realize now how much more freedom we will have being able to have both of us being able to transport the kids.  We won't have to worry and plan as much, so it is also freeing logistically, which is nice.  And, it's a sign of our little girl growing up and being ok with it.  It is hard to see our kids grow up, but it is also a blessing, because they are healthy, they are safe, they are alive.  With the grace of God, we raise them into God loving adults who make a difference in this world.  Once Lauren was willing to ride in a booster, life got a little easier for all of us.  What do we hold onto that is tying us down?  What are we not willing to let go of, and as a result, miss out on some freedoms?  What is it that we won't change that would be for our good?  Lauren was ready for the booster, but she wasn't willing.  See, it's just like my daughter's booster seat......

Let's talk about hurting.......

What do we do with hurt?  Our hurt?  The hurts of others in our lives?  Our spouse?  Our children?  Friends?  People in our church?  Neighbors?  It's an interesting topic, if you really think about it.  So, pause and think about what we do with hurt?  When a friend tells you about a sibling who died?  That is their hurt.  But, how do you respond?  Do you ask them about the sibling?  Or, do you ignore it and hope it goes away?

Today in our Sunday School class, we had a great Spirit-filled conversation and we talked a little about this.  One of the women in the class lost her husband recently and was sharing her struggles with the recent ice storm and the decisions she had to make.  How she felt alone - alone to pick up the mess of branches, alone to make the decisions in how to have the branches removed, the financial decisions she had to face alone.  She shared that after her husbands death, someone said they were praying for her.  She replied and said she thought no one remembered her anymore.  She felt alone.  People rarely ask her about her husband, people rarely mention his name, people rarely ask her how she is doing since his passing.  Her loss seems to have been ignored as time passes.  However, from hearing her talk today, her pain is still very present and real.

Our teacher, who lost a son as well, shared that she felt the same way.  People often don't ask her about her son, or share stories.  She said she would love for someone to tell her a story about her son, or ask her about him.  Would she love to tell people about him, yes!  Would she cry, yes!  But she doesn't want him to be forgotten.

So, as I've been pondering this, it's made me ask what do we do with hurt?  If we ignore it, why do we do that?  Is it because we have so much hurt of our own that we don't know what to do with others?  Is it that we don't want to add more hurt by asking?  Is it that we are uncomfortable with hurt and don't know how to handle it?   Is it a combination of all of the above?  I think we like things pretty,not messy, we like peace, we don't like pain.  Yet hurt is messy and painful.  So, I think we avoid it, our own pain and others as well.  We don't walk into pain with others because it brings up the mess and pain that we try to avoid in our own lives.  People avoid it by work, busyness, food, drink, drugs, gambling, internet, shopping, the list goes on and on about ways people mismanage their pain.  So, when someone comes along and has pain too, it is too much to "take on," so we avoid it.  We ignore it and change the topic, or we pretend we didn't hear it, or, the list goes on and on.

What's the take away from this?  There are a few:

1. Walk into your own pain and deal with it.  Is it hard, messy, yucky and unpleasant?  Yes, but it is all for good.  The only way to be whole is to deal with the pain and walk toward healing.

2. When someone shares their pain with you, walk with them into it.  Be there for them, ask questions, listen, let them feel "safe" to share with you and pray for them.  Prayer is a powerful tool we have, friends!

While we can't fix pain or take it away from others, we can be available and accessible to walk through it with them.  I think when we do that for others, it not only blesses the one who is hurting, but it blesses us as well.

Reflections on the Great Spring Ice Storm of 2013

Here it is, April and we are in the middle of a storm.  The storms I am used to in the spring involve lots of rain, wind, possibly a tornado warning or something like that.  However, this storm did not bring those things.  It brought ice - a lot of ice.  So much that power lines were down and beautiful trees are broken.  It is like a war zone here.  Trees are down everywhere.  Big beautiful trees are down, some of them by the roots.  It is unlike anything I have ever seen.  The following day, we added about six inches of snow onto the ice.  So, again, power lines were down as more weight was added to the trees.  What makes me the most sad are the trees.

Our pastor posted something on facebook that I have been mulling these past few days - "As I see all of the tree branches breaking under the weight of the ice, I am reminded that there are some things that we were never meant to carry, or we will break as well.
#castyourcaresonhim"  (Thanks, Pastor Beard!)

Wow, that hit me!  As someone who has carried a lot of things she wasn't meant to, I knew exactly what he meant!  It made me think about the things I have carried and what I do with them.  I am at a point now where there is more pruning to be done.  I have been pruned before, trust me, and I liked to think I was done with the process!  However, God has shown me He has more work to do.  Ugh, I don't like that and I don't want that, yet I need it.  It made me think about the trees that are down, all over our city.  What if no one picked them up?  They would continue to be on the ground, which is ok for a while, but eventually, they would wreak havoc.  They are somewhere doing something that is not beneficial.  Yes, they broke under the weight of things they were not meant to carry.  However, once the pruning has taken place, they will come back, strong and healthy.  Lives will continue to go on and people will benefit from the trees being where they belong. 

It is much like us, we can choose to be pruned, refined, made new, etc. and like the trees, come back stronger.  Or, we can continue to be in the mess we are in, and do nothing.  I suspect the trees whose damage isn't dealt with will perish.  It is much the same with us - we may not perish in the literal sense of the term {however, I am sure some have}.  But we could perish emotionally or spiritually or even to some degree, physically.  {Our physical health is tied to our emotional health}.   One man at the gym even commented "It is nature's way of cleaning up."  Interesting, isn't it?

So, what will you chose today?  To be pruned for your benefit and the benefit of those around you?  Or will you continue to sit in your broken mess?  The choice is yours, friend.  I know what I'm choosing......