Let's Talk About PTSD.....

Yup, I'm goin' there.  Have you ever seen something in passing and the thought crosses your mind "maybe I should do something with this?" Then life goes on, you get sidetracked and forget, then something similar shows up again?  And, again?  Then you KNOW you have to act on it, right?Well, thus this post.

Funny thing is I don't mind talking about PTSD.  In some ways it is therapeutic and if it can help others who might have or have had PTSD, so be it.  I'm all for sharing to help others! These are some things that have been on my heart for sometime and I'm finally getting them out there.  If you note the date, yes, I am writing this on my birthday.  I'm also ok with that.  They say you make time for what is important to you.  Well, this is important to me, or I wouldn't be taking time to write it now! Without further adieu......

A few days ago, a friend posted this picture on facebook.  Interesting, right?  Since I'm a processor, I've been thinking about this for a few days.....the saying "heal the gut, heal the brain came to mind." Which then made me think back to where that all started. Right before we moved to Sioux Falls from Champaign, Lauren was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder {SPD} and food intolerances to wheat and dairy.  When we got to Sioux Falls, we were connected with an awesome chiropractor who helped get us straightened out - got Lauren on a good probiotic, helped us make a few more dietary tweaks, helped us with some OT stuff, that kind of thing.  She is also the one who told me "heal the gut, heal the brain," and taught me about how our gut affects so much of our health.  This picture reflects that.

I then began my own stroll down memory lane, to when I was first diagnosed with PTSD.  The first step was meds.  Prozac to be honest. That lasted for a few days, maybe 2? It made me feel so much worse than I did before I was on it. Something was off, I knew it wasn't right. Since that didn't work, the next step was to meet with a holistic doctor. She was amazing!  She looked at everything....my blood, my oxygen, my saliva, my potty, you name it, it was looked at. She met with me for about 4 hours and did a comprehensive evaluation of EVERYTHING. We talked about how I felt, what made me angry, what seemed to "trigger" me, etc.  It was incredible!  I loved that she took time with me to look at the WHOLE picture, vs. saying "ok, you have PTSD, take this pill." She really got to know me, my history, my diet and exercise habits {lack thereof back then}, sleep, everything. She then went on to let me know I was pre-diabetic, my vitamin and mineral levels were completely depleted, my iron was off and I was a hot mess, basically. Of course she didn't say that to me, but wow, I was.  My diet consisted of carbs, pop, processed foods, candy, food dyes, etc.  Our meal rotation that I cooked consisted of frozen pizza, pigs in blankets with peas, tacos, take out and that's about it.  Yah, crap food city, friends.  Been there, done that.  So, I agreed to take the 20+ vitamins she recommended {not even kidding. Chad is saying several thousands of dollars worth!} And, ya know what?  I started to feel better - not only mentally but physically.  My diet was still in the ditch, but I was taking small steps to get better.

Fast forward to February 2014, enter the 21 Day Fix.  This was the major step for me, I believe.  Prior to this, I discovered I also had gluten and dairy issues, so had cut those out. I was also cutting out some processed foods, had cut out pop, but still wasn't doing as well as I could be.  The 21 Day Fix changed my life. That sounds dramatic, I realize, but it did. For the first time really in a LONG time, I felt alive again.  I had energy and could handle life and the situations that came my way....hello, I'm a parent!  I noticed my fog began to lift, my depression started to ease, my anger was fading, anxiety was going, I was a new person!  It was amazing!  I can only share my experiences and what clean eating and exercise have done for me.  I'm a believer!

It's interesting, with the roadtrips we have taken this year, I have splurged on them.  Ya know, Garrett's' caramel corn in Chicago, that sort of thing.  Every time we have taken a road trip and I have had sugar/gluten/dairy, I become a very angry person a few days later. That is the only common denominator with my anger is the food.  {You better believe I avoided this at Thanksgiving!!!  And, the ride home was much better!}  Once again, I am seeing the connection of how food affects our minds.

So, mind you, all this is going through my mind, then a friend posts this the other day. An article called "The Real Cause of

Depression May Have Nothing at All to Do With Your Mind" The link is here:

http://themindunleashed.org/2015/11/the-real-cause-of-depression-may-have-nothing-at-all-to-do-with-your-mind.html

Again, it makes the connection between food and our minds. Heal the gut, heal the brain. It's so true!  In fact, while we were away for Thanksgiving, I ran across this picture from when Lauren was a baby and wrote up some words that described how I felt at the time. Then, I did a more recent picture of the two of us with words of how I currently feel. 

              

 

                                                             

The changes ~ a supernatural touch from God and cleaning up my diet and incorporating exercise!  That's it!  So if you wanna know why I'm so passionate about this, now you know!  It's not about weight loss, it never has been for me! That's can be a by product, which some folks need, yes. But for me, this is about helping others be healthy, healed and whole, the way God made us to be.  He didn't intend for us to abuse our bodies and put all this junk into them that we do, friends. Please hear my heart here, if you are struggling and are looking for someone to come alongside you and help, I'd love to help.  You are worth it!  Your family is worth you being healthy and around to ENJOY them!  

Love and hugs,

Melissa

3 Day Refresh, Update!

After my last experience with the 3 Day Refresh, I decided to try it again, a year later. My thoughts going in were triple fold.

1. I wanted to see if us being in a more stable point in our lives would make a difference {last time I did the 3 Day Refresh, we were in a very uncertain point of life with an upcoming move, lots of unknowns, etc.}  It was important for me to know if the possibility of our situation swayed my outlook on the 3 Day Refresh.

2. We had just gotten off of a long weekend in Chicago where I over-indulged on all foods Chicago. You know, Giordino's Pizza, Garrett's popcorn, need I say more?  LOL :)

3. I had gotten into a slippery slope with sugar again and really just needed the freedom from it, so needed to see if this would affect me in that way.

Interestingly enough, I ended up doing the 3 Day Refresh this time while Chad was away. He was concerned about this, knowing how round 1 went last time.  But, me....I was more confident.  I started it on a Monday and continued until Wednesday, doing the full 3 days.  {Chad was gone Tuesday-Friday of this week}.

It makes me so happy to say that this experience was much much better!  I was a little more tired than normal on day 1, but day 2 and day 3, I would say my energy level was normal.  {Please note, I did not work out during this time!}  But, I did follow the program to a T, which was exciting for me.  I needed the challenge of knowing I could do it, especially with where my eating habits had been prior to the Refresh.  I felt great, I was in a good mood, energy level was good after the first day, my thinking was straight.  All went well the 3 days I did the refresh!

But, let me tell you what happened on day 1 AFTER the refresh.  Lauren had brought home some leftover Halloween candy from school.  Being the good mom that I am, I didn't let her have it, so I put it in my purse, knowing I was committed to the Refresh and not concerned that I would slip. However, Thursday, I slipped.  I ate all the chocolate candy in her bag {I think there were 3 pieces?} A few hours later, a headache appeared.  A few hours after that, a fit of rage hit.  I was way out of control, likely from the sugar and chemicals in the candy.  All that junk had been out of my system for 3 whole days and I felt great.  Emotionally, I felt very stable, then I ate the candy........

Was I upset with myself?  Somewhat.  Did I learn a HUGE lesson?  Yup, sure did.  It just reconfirmed that what we eat affects not only our minds, but our emotions as well.  What we put into and on our bodies affects us.  I am living proof.  Friends, I care about you so much.  I know first hand from myself and my children how foods affect our minds, and our behavior.  That's why I do what I do.  To educate.  To help.  To inform.  The holidays are coming up and maybe it's too much for you to start a program like the 21 Day Fix, or Cize, or something like that.  What about a 3 Day Refresh, coupled with drinking Shakeology every day?  That might be a great way to ease into making the changes you want and need to.

So, how can I help you?  Let me know.....I'm always here and ready to help.

{Note, I will add I did not take before or after pictures, measurements or weight before hand, as my motivation for doing this was not weight loss.  It was to feel better and get rid of some of the processed, "un clean" foods I had eaten over time.}

It Isn't Really About Food, Is It?

I posted this on my facebook page the other day and am now going to expound upon it.  Here's the post, as well as picture.
"Another great email message from Christine Caine today. This picture was below, as well as this verse ~ "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. (1 Corinthians 10:31)" I have been thinking about this a lot.

Church, aren't we called to be set apart? If we eat and drink for the glory of God, doesn't WHAT we eat and drink matter? Doesn't what we put in our bodies matter? I think it does. Our bodies are to be temples....so, how are you treating your temple? See, what gets me is that we are not TAUGHT how to eat right, or to eat well, or to read labels, or how much water to drink, or what type of exercises to do. We continue in this vicious cycle, which isn't healthy and quite honestly is killing us. Isn't it time to rise up, and be good stewards of what we have been given? You only have one body to live in, so why not treat it with love and respect?"  That concludes the post. I would now like to expound upon it.

This weekend, we had the opportunity to attend a conference for people in ministry.  It's always interesting to me to see what type of food and drink they serve at events, especially the faith based ones.  See, it seems to me as though this is an area where the devil has gotten us as believers ~ the area of being disciplined with what we eat and drink; the area of taking care of our temples; the area of self control; the area of gluttony, particularly around food.  "It's not drugs!," some may say.  Or, "it's not alcohol," say others.  Or "it's legal." Exactly.  That is why it is a trap, because it is legal.  There is nothing wrong, immoral, illegal, or even sinful about eating, is there?  Nope, sure isn't.  We need to eat to survive, yes? However, it is a HEART ISSUE.

See, when we are eating out of brokenness, or stress, or seeking "comfort food," that is a sin.  Why?  Because it is idolatry.  We are turning away from God and turning to something else.  Yet, the church continues to do it, day in and day out.  Sometimes it is even promoted within the church at various events.  All you-can-eat type events, potlucks, that sort of thing.  Again, I am not saying that these things are wrong or sinful, please don't hear me saying that.  Let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater, but when we are encouraging or helping people to stumble, rather than helping them, we are part of the problem.  For example, a lot of events in the community revolve around food, yes? Pancake breakfasts, fish frys, cookouts, festivals, fairs, etc. You can always count on food that isn't good for us at those events.  It would be like taking an alcoholic to a bar, walking them around and expecting them to not be tempted.  It's not going to happen, is it?  So it is with us.  The exception is our addiction is legal.  It is accepted.  It is encouraged.  It is promoted.

So, back to the event this weekend.  The food. All in all, was not too bad.  There were cookies {more than once offered during the day}, soda/pop, whatever you call it, some protein and lots of carbs at lunch.  There were no fruits and not too much veggie-wise.  The problem, I see, is that it really isn't about the food, but how we are using the food and what the food is for.

See, I have learned on my journey that food is fuel.  Food is energy.  Food gives you what you need to be well fueled, prepared and ready to handle your day.  Food is not meant to be an idol, a comfort, a soother, a helper. That is what Jesus is.  So when we turn to food instead of Jesus for that, that's a problem.  From my personal experience, I had to have some inner healing take place before I was ready to tackle the food area of my life. Food was my comfort, my refuge, my solace, my comforter....anyone relate?  I was using food where I should have been turning to God.  So the problem, as I see it, is we are hurt and wounded and turning to the wrong source for healing.  Instead of turning to the One who can heal us, bind up our wounds and hurts, we are turning to something that is killing us.....both spiritually and physically.

The other problem I see is we can't give someone something we don't have.  Yes?  So, if we are ministering out of this unhealed part of us, turning to food to "help" us, aren't we teaching those we minister to to do the same? Instead of helping them be free and well, we are crippling them as well because of our own issues.  Is that why the church is so wounded? I don't know.  I'm just speculating.  From doing a quick Google search, the following caught my eye, published earlier this year

~"More than a third of American clergy are obese, according to a new study from Baylor University." Google it and see what you find.


From my own past with food and current experiences, there is a problem in the church. It's an area we either go after, repent from and transform our minds, or the devil continues to win in this area of the Bride.

What say you, church? Are you ready to rise up and take care of your temple the way we were intended to? I'm here and ready to help when you are. We already know who wins the battle, so why let the enemy keep picking on you?

Losing Your Voice?

Have you ever lost your voice?  Whether it be literally {like physically lost your voice}, or feel like you have lost your voice/presence, it stinks! While I'm not sure I have totally 100% ever physically lost my voice, I do feel like I have lost my voice/presence.  The sad thing is I'm not exactly sure when or how it happened. As a kid, I remember being pretty loud and probably obnoxious.  Then, it seemed like it was about attention, wanting and needing attention, so I did what would work to get it.

It seems as though this carried into college, but somewhere along the way, my voice got lost.  While I think I know when it may have happened, it's surprising how much of an impact that has had.  It's interesting, because I remember talking in groups and people saying "what?  I can't hear you," or "please speak up."  When Chad and I first started dating, he would say that a lot.  It wasn't that I was mumbling, but that I was quiet.  My voice was gone.  Almost like I didn't feel like I had any worth in what I said, or a lack of value, maybe?  It's interesting because growing up some of my dreams were to become a t.v. broadcaster, and aerobics instructor, things that required being up front, in front of people.  My freshman year of college, COM 114 {speech} was my favorite class because I loved public speaking!  Yet, somewhere during my 4 year college experience and even after that, my voice began to wither......

While I believe there are several contributing factors to this, it's interesting how I have not noticed it....until now.  It's an area that it seems as though God wants to work on in me. Honestly, that was part of the reason I didn't want to get certified in PiYo.  I talked about that for probably a year, but realized the fear with it, for me, was speaking into a microphone in front of people.  Hmmmm. So, I've been sitting here, afraid to do something and what does God do?  He keeps putting me in more situations that force me out of my comfort zone.   That force me to get up in front of people and speak with a microphone. {Like at church!  On the stage!  AAGGHH!}

When I made the decision to get certified in Cize, I knew that I had to do it.  The burning desire inside of me was too much to say no to. In fact, I didn't even let myself think about the microphone when I registered!  LOL.  Chad made the comment "it will be good for you." When I asked him what that meant, his reply was "I think it will take you out of your comfort zone."  Great, just what I want! The reality is I do want to grow, change and if the call on my life is to have a voice, then I need to step into that and be faithful and obedient. I don't wanna miss anything because of fear! If we do that, who wins?  Seriously.  

All this to say, God is a god of restoration. While I don't know what from your past has been lost, as my voice was, I do know He wants to restore that and use it for His good. If you're willing to let Him, it can be a wild, exhilarating ride friends!  Are you ready?  

Saving Lives

Are you a "life saver?" I would have answered this question with a "no," a few years ago. But, today, the answer would be different. There was a situation recently where someone we are close to had a health issue. In a facebook group, we were talking about bringing meals for this person and their family. "So if any one has recipes or ideas please share so we can all learn to cook healthier," was part of the post. Well, if you know me or have been following me, you know there have been some recent health changes in our lives as well and I have become a huge proponent of healthy foods, meals, clean eating, etc. This is right up my alley! I have actually made an ebook of clean eating recipes that I was thinking of posting, BUT, didn't want to come across as salesy or trying to push something. I messaged the friend who started the conversation on facebook to see what they thought, and the reply was "We all need educated and maybe save a life!! Be a blessing." Ok, then. So, the recipe book was posted.

However, the following day, the "maybe save a life," is sticking with me. See, my perception of saving lives has always been in the spiritual. Sharing the Gospel, inviting people into relationship with Jesus as their Lord and Savior. So, "saving," was a spiritual mindset for me. However, that transfers to the physical/natural realm as well. If we are physically dead, can we make a spiritual impact? I don't think so. Now it feels like God is calling me to save lives not only in the spiritual, but the physical as well. And, it's not about weight, folks. Anyone who thinks that is missing the boat. Did you know that the following diseases are related to foods: 

* Obesity 

* Diabetes 

* Cardiovascular disease 

* Osteoporosis

Just to name a few. Did you know that fast food increases the risk of heart disease and diabetes? Do we wonder why we as a nation are so sick? Look at our lifestyles. We are busy, we are not intentional about what we eat, we eat on the go, throwing fast food into our mouths more than we should be. We are eating for comfort, not to fuel our bodies. We are turning to food to pacify, comfort us, soothe us, when in reality we need to turn to the Comforter for that. "If you're comfortable, you don't need a Comforter," is something Todd White said 5 years ago that has stuck with me. We are seeking food for something it was never intended to be used for and it's making us sick. 

The other day on facebook, I posted about fatal conveniences. See, fatal conveniences are the abundances of food, but a lack of nutrients. We live in a society of fatal conveniences, folks. Look at our busy lifestyles...going here and there, but not giving our bodies the fuel they need.

If you don't think our nation is in a health crisis, I encourage you to go where people are. The zoo is where I had my "ah ha" moment. I saw parents who were unable to keep up with their kids because their weight was preventing them from doing so. As we have been out and about, I continue to see it ~ at the mall, at the pool, at churches, anywhere people are. Do you see parents able to keep up with their children? To run and play with them at the park? To keep up with them without getting out of breath? From what I have seen, those people are becoming the minority. And, it's not ok. I am not ok with kids not being played with or enjoying their parents because their parents don't know how to take care of themselves, or aren't willing to. Is that fair to the kids? Jesus came to give us life to the FULL, yet I see people not living in that fullness He died for because of food choices, and lack of exercise. Sounds like the devil's plan to steal, kill and destroy is winning, eh?
                                         

So, if being a life saver means helping people use food as medicine, vs. poison, then yes, I'm a life saver! If you'd like me to help you with this area of your life, or if you'd like to know more about Jesus, please let me know. I would love to hear from you!

Be a blessing today, friends!  Do good!

What Cize Means to Me......

I know it sounds odd, but I have been thinking about what the release of the new Cize program means to me.  {In case you're not familiar, Cize is a new program Beachbody released that is a dance program designed to help drop pounds!  Plus, it's super fun!  I am loving it!  It doesn't even feel like exercise to me! In fact, so much so, I signed up to become a Cize instructor!}  So, all that to say, I have been thinking about this new program and what it means to me.

See, all of my life, I have danced.  My mom put me in dance lessons at age 2.  I continued all the way through high school and was on the dance team in high school as well.  Once I hit college, my dancing consisted of fraternity parties and the Neon Cactus once in a while. {Um, not so much to either really.  It wasn't the same at all!}  Dancing is therapeutic for me.  It makes sense to me, I understand it, I get it.  It's how my body works.  Now, sports....not so much.  

I was cut from the volleyball team in middle school and to be honest, since that time, I have not considered myself an athlete.  When they say in some of the Beachbody videos I've done, "think of yourself as an athlete," that doesn't resonate with me, because in my mind, I'm still the girl who got cut from the volleyball team.  Sure, sports were part of my high school experience, but I don't feel like I was good at them.  I swam my senior year {who does that for 1 year?  Apparently, me.}  I also played tennis, which I wasn't great at either.  But, I did dance and that was my "jam," if you will. Running, ugh. Not so much. Part of me thought to be an athlete, I had to be a runner.  That's not me. It's not my thing, I don't enjoy it. One bit.  So there!

So since February of 2013, I have worked out consistently 4-6 times/week doing various Beachbody programs.  I've done 21 Day Fix, 21 Day Fix Extreme, TurboFire, PiYo, Les Mills Pump, I have Insanity Max 30 but didn't complete the whole program, tried T25 {not my thing, too athletic, maybe?}  and now Cize. Since becoming a coach, I have heard of others talk about their "soul mate workout," and wondered what mine was.  Sure, I've enjoyed Turbo, PiYo and some of the 21 Day Fix ones, but to say they were my soulmate wouldn't have been totally true. I think Cize is it!  When I'm Cizing it up, I'm in my element. I feel confident, comfortable and know what I'm doing.  Plus, at the end, I'm a hot mess so I know it's a great workout too!

I've been thinking a lot about what I wanted to be "when I grew up."  When I was a kid, there were three things on my list;

1. Be a mom who drives a mini van {not sure why?} - ✔
2. Be a business owner - ✔
3. Be an aerobics instructor - soon, friends, soon!

It might sound funny to say but Cize has been healing in a way.  It brings back the good parts of my childhood that I seem to have forgotten.  One of my former dance teachers reached out on facebook when she saw I was going to be certified, so that was fun too!  It's nice to know there really are exercise programs available for everyone now.  If you're not an athlete, great!  Cize might be a great fit for you!  It has been for me and I'm really thankful for that.  It's awesome to feel like you're in the right place at the right time. What a blessing!

If you'd like more information on Cize, please let me know! I'd love to hear from you!  We can find a live class near you, or hook you up with the program to do at your own home too! If you're not currently working with a Beachbody coach, I'd love to work with you! {Whether it's with Cize, or another program.} To make me your coach, please go to the following:

https://www.teambeachbody.com/tbbsignup/-/tbbsignup/free?referringRepId=393567

I'd be honored to be a part of your health and wellness journey!

Communication, Or Lack Thereof

Communication.  Yes, it was my major in college.  Why?  Because I liked to talk. Seriously.  At one point, I wanted to be a broadcast journalist, like Katie Couric. However, after doing a mentorship at the local t.v. station {WLFI}, I learned I would have to do my own hair and make-up and edit my own tapes.  That was kind of a deal breaker for me.  {Sound a bit like a primadona, eh?  It's ok, I was.}  So, back to communication.  It's interesting how we have so many ways of communicating these days ~ phone, texting, email, facebook, instagram and lots of other modes I'm not even aware of but have heard rumblings of.}  Yet, at the same time, we don't seem to know how to communicate with one another.  There have been a few interesting communication scenarios that have happened in the past week that have really surprised me.  The more time and reflection I gave it, the more I realized how flawed our communication really is with each other.  Which then leads me to wonder how that impacts relationships?

I'm the type of person who prefers to be told the truth.  I suspect most people don't like to be lied to, correct?   Or have information withheld from them?  Or have someone be dishonest with them?  Or not be told something upfront?  The whole beating around the bush scene?  Yeah, not so much. Yet, it seems like all of those things happened in these scenarios.  As I look back on them, if the person had been upfront, open and honest from the get go, a lot of frustration could have been avoided on both sides.  It seems like we are very good at burying how we really feel about something, yet, when that happens things "come out sideways."  This is exactly what happened.  It is perfectly acceptable to say to someone, "you really hurt me when you did xyz,  I was hoping you would have been upfront about the situation from the get go." Or "my feelings were hurt when abc happened." It is ok to have an open, honest conversation if/when someone has hurt you.  Or, if you think you have hurt someone to go to them and say "I am sorry if I have hurt you.  I'm under the impression that perhaps you are upset with me. Will you please forgive me?"  That solves things in such a healthier way than pushing it down, letting it come out sideways and being nasty at off times because you've buried the hurt and anger.  Eventually, it comes out, so why not deal with it from the get go? What would our world look like then?  Think we would have the anger issues?  The violence?  I don't know, just a thought here.  It seems like we aren't educated on how to communicate with one another in a healthy way.  How to process our feelings and work through them.  Why is that?

The other thing that I'm noticing is people doing things that affect others without saying something to them.  A good example would be someone borrowing your car without asking or without your knowledge, yet when you go to get into your car...it's not there!  Um, hello! Everything we do affects someone in a positive or negative way.  Please think through the ramifications of your actions and words and how they impact others.  A lot of times people don't intend to hurt people and I understand that, yet a lot of times that happens.  

Part of me wonders if this is due to the fact that we don't really know how we are feeling. We are so busy, so go, go, go, go that we don't take time to stop and think before responding. We simply react before thinking things through.  Is part of that is because we are so unsure of our own feelings/thoughts/etc. that we don't know how to handle our own, let alone others? Have we not taken time to work through and process our own issues?  Could that be part of it?  We respond to situations based on our own wounds and hurts?  Just some food for thought here as I've been processing some communication scenes that have impacted me recently.