Let's talk about hurting.......

What do we do with hurt?  Our hurt?  The hurts of others in our lives?  Our spouse?  Our children?  Friends?  People in our church?  Neighbors?  It's an interesting topic, if you really think about it.  So, pause and think about what we do with hurt?  When a friend tells you about a sibling who died?  That is their hurt.  But, how do you respond?  Do you ask them about the sibling?  Or, do you ignore it and hope it goes away?

Today in our Sunday School class, we had a great Spirit-filled conversation and we talked a little about this.  One of the women in the class lost her husband recently and was sharing her struggles with the recent ice storm and the decisions she had to make.  How she felt alone - alone to pick up the mess of branches, alone to make the decisions in how to have the branches removed, the financial decisions she had to face alone.  She shared that after her husbands death, someone said they were praying for her.  She replied and said she thought no one remembered her anymore.  She felt alone.  People rarely ask her about her husband, people rarely mention his name, people rarely ask her how she is doing since his passing.  Her loss seems to have been ignored as time passes.  However, from hearing her talk today, her pain is still very present and real.

Our teacher, who lost a son as well, shared that she felt the same way.  People often don't ask her about her son, or share stories.  She said she would love for someone to tell her a story about her son, or ask her about him.  Would she love to tell people about him, yes!  Would she cry, yes!  But she doesn't want him to be forgotten.

So, as I've been pondering this, it's made me ask what do we do with hurt?  If we ignore it, why do we do that?  Is it because we have so much hurt of our own that we don't know what to do with others?  Is it that we don't want to add more hurt by asking?  Is it that we are uncomfortable with hurt and don't know how to handle it?   Is it a combination of all of the above?  I think we like things pretty,not messy, we like peace, we don't like pain.  Yet hurt is messy and painful.  So, I think we avoid it, our own pain and others as well.  We don't walk into pain with others because it brings up the mess and pain that we try to avoid in our own lives.  People avoid it by work, busyness, food, drink, drugs, gambling, internet, shopping, the list goes on and on about ways people mismanage their pain.  So, when someone comes along and has pain too, it is too much to "take on," so we avoid it.  We ignore it and change the topic, or we pretend we didn't hear it, or, the list goes on and on.

What's the take away from this?  There are a few:

1. Walk into your own pain and deal with it.  Is it hard, messy, yucky and unpleasant?  Yes, but it is all for good.  The only way to be whole is to deal with the pain and walk toward healing.

2. When someone shares their pain with you, walk with them into it.  Be there for them, ask questions, listen, let them feel "safe" to share with you and pray for them.  Prayer is a powerful tool we have, friends!

While we can't fix pain or take it away from others, we can be available and accessible to walk through it with them.  I think when we do that for others, it not only blesses the one who is hurting, but it blesses us as well.

Reflections on the Great Spring Ice Storm of 2013

Here it is, April and we are in the middle of a storm.  The storms I am used to in the spring involve lots of rain, wind, possibly a tornado warning or something like that.  However, this storm did not bring those things.  It brought ice - a lot of ice.  So much that power lines were down and beautiful trees are broken.  It is like a war zone here.  Trees are down everywhere.  Big beautiful trees are down, some of them by the roots.  It is unlike anything I have ever seen.  The following day, we added about six inches of snow onto the ice.  So, again, power lines were down as more weight was added to the trees.  What makes me the most sad are the trees.

Our pastor posted something on facebook that I have been mulling these past few days - "As I see all of the tree branches breaking under the weight of the ice, I am reminded that there are some things that we were never meant to carry, or we will break as well.
#castyourcaresonhim"  (Thanks, Pastor Beard!)

Wow, that hit me!  As someone who has carried a lot of things she wasn't meant to, I knew exactly what he meant!  It made me think about the things I have carried and what I do with them.  I am at a point now where there is more pruning to be done.  I have been pruned before, trust me, and I liked to think I was done with the process!  However, God has shown me He has more work to do.  Ugh, I don't like that and I don't want that, yet I need it.  It made me think about the trees that are down, all over our city.  What if no one picked them up?  They would continue to be on the ground, which is ok for a while, but eventually, they would wreak havoc.  They are somewhere doing something that is not beneficial.  Yes, they broke under the weight of things they were not meant to carry.  However, once the pruning has taken place, they will come back, strong and healthy.  Lives will continue to go on and people will benefit from the trees being where they belong. 

It is much like us, we can choose to be pruned, refined, made new, etc. and like the trees, come back stronger.  Or, we can continue to be in the mess we are in, and do nothing.  I suspect the trees whose damage isn't dealt with will perish.  It is much the same with us - we may not perish in the literal sense of the term {however, I am sure some have}.  But we could perish emotionally or spiritually or even to some degree, physically.  {Our physical health is tied to our emotional health}.   One man at the gym even commented "It is nature's way of cleaning up."  Interesting, isn't it?

So, what will you chose today?  To be pruned for your benefit and the benefit of those around you?  Or will you continue to sit in your broken mess?  The choice is yours, friend.  I know what I'm choosing......

I love the volume you have....

Ok, so this is starting off as a post about hair, but I promise it won't end up being about hair.  It is no secret that I have very fine, thin hair.  I have a lot of it, but it is all very thin & fine, thus lacking in volume.  In college, I copied a girls hairstyle that involved teasing a part of the hair at the top of the head.  Sadly, I have continued to do that for oh, 13 years.  Lately, I have finally realized this style isn't working for me.  I'm not sure it did then, either, but oh well....I have been envious of women with similar styles with lots of volume & body.  So much so, that I even messaged a friend on fb after she posted a pic of her darling, voluminous hair.  Here is what I sent her: 

"This is kind of random, but here goes. I LOVE your hair! I love the volume you have....how in the world do you do that? Are there certain products you use or they way you style it? Would love to know what works for you, it is adorable!!! "

She kindly replied & told me the products she used.  Shortly after, I met with another woman whose hair is similar to the friend I wrote.  Upon being able to see the hairstyle in person, I realized there was a part of my technique missing.  You see, I just took a small chunk of hair & teased it.  The real key to voluminous hair is teasing it at the roots & kind of all over the crown of the tead, not just the small patch as I had done.  Once I realized this, I had the desired result!  Ta da!

So, what does this post on my hair have to do with anything?  A lot.... I have been thinking about this application in life.  See, I had been doing something & not getting the desired result.  So, I kept doing it & being frustrated with my outcome.  Had I sat down & thought more about this or maybe even seen the woman with the voluminous hair in person I could have realized what I was doing wrong.  How many times in life do we keep doing something & not getting our desired result?  A small tweak to what we are doing would likely change the outcome.  For me, a small revision in the way I was teasing would have done the trick.  What is it for you?

I have also deduced from this that sometimes we are focusing on the wrong things.  For example, had I focused on teasing more hair than my little patch, it would have produced a different look.  I was focused on this one little bit, instead of the whole head of hair.  Where do we do this in life?  Do we focus on the one or two things that are really bad, annoying, irritating, overwhelming, frustrating, etc. so much that we miss the great things right in front of us?  I have lived much of my life this way & am striving to focus more on the positive & what I do have, rather than what is negative or what I don't have.  That kind of thinking can change your life for the better!  Focusing on the blessings & the positives far outweigh the negatives, I promise!  

Wrecked.....

  As some of you may know, we moved here to SD for my husband to work for Sanford Hospital.  Sanford has a wonderful children's hospital, which is pictured above.  As you can tell, it is much like a castle and is pretty amazing.  I'm very impressed with everything I have seen and heard about the children's hospital.  We haven't had the chance to go inside until yesterday, as they don't let people in so they keep the sick children unexposed to germs, etc.  However, yesterday, they were doing a Cure Kids Cancer radio-a-thon, which offered activities, puppies, etc., so we were able to go inside the "castle."

I didn't know what to expect, so I didn't really have any feelings going in.  However, once we stepped inside, that quickly changed.  The kids were all excited to see the dressed up dinosaurs, parrots and other characters they had there.  They were caught up in the moment and I was caught up in the reality of what was happening here.  I had all of these feelings and emotions come over me - guilt for having my healthy kids there, bravery for the kids who are fighting or have fought cancer, compassion for those families going through cancer right now and just awe of how they do it.  It really hit me when I was walking upstairs and passed a little girl about Lauren's age who was bald and obviously fighting cancer.  I lost it.  It took my breath away.  I was struck by how fortunate we are to have healthy kids.  I take that for granted.  It was eye opening to be around people who are living my greatest fear - sick children.  Really sick, not just virus, cold or flu sick, but really sick.  Cancer sick.  It was surreal to walk into that place of fear.  I really wanted to just run away - I'm not sure if it was fear or guilt, but I didn't feel very comfortable there.   It made me realize that kids are not invincible.  It made me realize how much I take for granted - my life, my health, Chad's health, my kids health.  We have a great life!  I think it was good for me to be outside of my comfort zone and realize there is much more to life than these four walls that hold my stressors sometimes - screaming kids, disobedience, recipes that don't turn out.....really?  Yes, really, I have been caught up in my own little world and it was nice to get outside of it and realize just how blessed I am.

Father, I lift those sweet kiddos to you who are fighting cancer.  I pray for healing, in Jesus' name.  By Your wounds,they are healed.  We say no to cancer, and yes to healing.  Thank You, Lord, that You love them more than we do.  Thank You for the gift of life that we often take for granted.  In Jesus' name, amen.

What trips us up?

Have you ever had a broken bone before?  I broke my pinky finger one time in elementary school.  It was in a splint for a bit, then once the finger healed, the splint came off.  Much like a cast, once the bone heals, the splint comes off.  However, what happens immediately after the cast or splint is removed?  We continue to act like the bone is still broken.  I know for me, it took me a while to get used to the idea of my finger being healed, as it had been in a splint for so long I grew accustomed & comfortable with that.  I don't remember how long it took to get used to the idea of being able to bend my finger again, get it wet in the shower again, etc.  But I know I didn't act like it was healed right away.

It's like our dishwasher.  For a few weeks, the top rack has had this issue.  The rack would be lopsided in there & we would have to pop it back into place.  So, every time I used the dishwasher, I got used to popping the rack into place.  The dishwasher repair man came by today & fixed the top rack - hooray!  But, what happened tonight when I was loading the dishwasher?  Yup, I tried to fix the top rack even though it had been fixed.  Which got me thinking about us.....

What areas of our lives has God healed us from or fixed in us that we continue to live like they are still broken?  "Who the Son sets free is free indeed."  {John 8:35}  Why do we not live like we are free?  What trips us up from the freedom that is given {freely}?  What is it about our bondage?  Is it comfortable?  Is it our identity?  Is it a crutch?  It is an excuse?  Fear?  What is holding us back from the true freedom we are all offered?  It is there waiting for us, we just have to receive it & go for it!  {If you have questions about this, please let me know....would love to help if I can.}

How do we not sweat the small stuff?

Ok, I admit it...I sweat the small stuff all the time.  I mean, really, does it matter if my counter is clean before I leave the house in the morning?  Apparently to me, it does.  I'm not sure why, but it is one of those things that I sweat.  I've been reflecting on the small stuff I sweat daily & how none of it really matters.  I mean, at the end of the day, what matters is my family is loved, I have been present with them, I have connected with Jesus, lead them to Jesus in some way & our basic needs are met.   If the laundry isn't done or if the house isn't spotless, does it really matter?  What will my kids remember about me or their childhood when they are grown?  I don't think it will be clean counters.....

Today, at our church, we had a phenomenal speaker, Robert Rogers.  (mightyintheland.com)  The short story is in  2003 a flash flood washed their vehicle off of the highway, and Robert Rogers lost his wife and four children.  Yet, he didn't lose his faith.  This man knows Jesus, His Word, believes Him & lives for Him.  It was remarkable.  I feel like after hearing him speak, I have a new perspective on my life.  So many times I wonder should I work, am I raising my kids right, am I doing the best I can, is my house clean enough, am I doing this or that right?  And, really, does it matter?  Does any of these things that I spend my time, money & energy doing matter?  Is it worth getting caught up in?  Some of it yes, & some of it no.    Hearing someone who lost his whole family & almost his own life absolutely made me re think my life & what my "struggles" are.  It has been a very convicting, thought provoking day.  I'm sure the thoughts will continue to marinate as the week goes on.

Thank you, Lord, for this great life.  It hasn't been easy, but thank You that You are always with us.  Thank You that You work all things together for our good.  Thank You for blessing me with a great husband & 2 blessings we get to raise.  Thank You for working in our lives.  Thank You for loving us & giving Yourself for us.  ~ Amen

Holistic Living....

I mentioned earlier that I think God is a holistic God.  I absolutely do believe that.  I think He did create things for our good & our benefit & our enjoyment, but like most things, somewhere along the way, have gotten corrupted.  For example, our food sources.  This is one example of something meant for good that has been corrupted.  (I'm referring to the use of pesticides, GMOs, artificial this & that, processing, etc.)  By & large, food can be good, we just need to be responsible for knowing what we put into our bodies & where it came from.

Our bodies are temples for the Holy Spirit, so I think it is our responsibility to take care of them!  Know where what you put in & on your body is coming from.  Exercise, drink plenty of water & lots of good, healthy foods.  Take supplements, if need be.  But be well, for when we are well, we can better serve those around us.  I think being well means taking care of our minds too....renewing our minds & keeping ourselves "fed."

Be well, friends.