Motherhood and How It's Changed Me.....

So, our little lady turned 8 on Sunday and to be honest, it made me pretty emotional.  In fact, looking at this picture makes my eyes well up with tears.  It's like looking at the last 8 years of my life and thinking how much life has changed in such a short amount of time, how much our family has changed, how much our children have changed and how much I have changed.  In sheer total transparency, which is how I like to roll, being a parent wasn't necessarily something I was on board with 100%.  Honestly, I think a lot of that was fear based.  Not knowing what to do, how to parent, knowing it was this HUGE responsibility, yet feeling ill equipped to do it, afraid of messing up.  See, lots of fears there. I did know that if we did have children, working full time wasn't something I wanted to do.  Staying home was something I was not certain of, but I did know full time wasn't an option if we didn't need me to.  {Thankfully, we didn't.}  Part time, perhaps, but not full time for sure.  {Not knocking full time working mamas, I just knew it wasn't for me.} 

I was introduced to the world of direct sales/network marketing before Chad and I were even married and that kind of planted the seed that when/if we had kids, I could be a work from home mama with my own business.  

When Lauren was born, I had been pretty successful with a party plan business and enjoyed it.  My plan was to take the maternity leave the company offered and return to doing parties after my leave was over in the fall. However, have you ever tried having a newborn that you were nursing while being at a party for 4+ hours, yah, not so much......the night of that party solidified that this wasn't the right decision for me.  However, I couldn't get the idea of not having a business out of my head.  The thought of having no outlet outside of poopy diapers, a breast pump, spit up on my clothes and all that goes with being a newborn mama wasn't the most appealing to me.  See, my personality tends to be Type A, productive, get 'er done, check if off the list, etc.  For me, motherhood didn't fulfill that part of me.  Now, don't get me wrong, I loved being a mama and was so thankful to be home with our daughter, but I also knew that for me, something was missing.  This pattern continued over time, with relocations across the country, me looking for part time jobs, at home opportunities, ways to fill that void and find something to do alongside of being a mama.

What is sad to me, in all of this, is that looking back on it now with who I am now, where I am now and what I know now, what I needed to work on was myself.  See, what I'm most thankful for about being a Beachbody coach is their emphasis on personal development. They ENCOURAGE and ADVOCATE for you to be reading/listening/watching personal development daily.  This one small tweak in my life has made such a difference in who I am today.  Of course, add that to the combination of exercise, clean eating and giving my body the nutrients it needs and I'm a MUCH BETTER mama now than I was when our little lady was born.  And, for that, I'm so thankful.  What makes me sad is the time I feel like I missed out on enjoying with my kiddos because of where I was.  

Who ever would have guessed that me saying yes to a 3 week program called the 21 Day Fix would make such an impact on me.  But, it did.  It taught me that I am worth investing in!  My health is important, not only for myself but for my family as well.  My family needs and deserves a healthy mama, and yours does too!  When I look at the pics above, I see a mama who HAD anxiety, depression, loss of identity, a life consumed by the daily t.v. show line up and what snack she could eat next, a mama who was unhappy. 

When I look at the pic below, I see a happy, healthy mama whose anxiety and depression have been lifted, who is thankful and happy and loves taking care of her family vs. dreading it.  The black cloud that once hung over me is now gone.  Part of that I believe, is from cleaning up my nutrition {heal the gut, heal the brain..more on that later} but most of it is due to Jesus, the great Healer.  He has changed me from the inside out!  Granted, I have worked with Him and done work; it's not just been a sit back and you do it all while I rest kind of a deal.  {Just like the Gospels are very active, God is a living God, the first 2 letters in God and Gospels are GO, after all!}

Becoming a coach wasn't on my radar, it wasn't something I sought out.  I believe it's something God brought to me.  When my health and mind changes started to happen, I knew He wanted others to feel this way too.  I believe He called me to be a coach so I can help support, encourage and lift up others who feel the way I did.  

If anything I've shared here resonates with you and you'd like to learn more about the clean eating, exercise and the lifestyle changes I've made, or perhaps you'd like to learn more about the business, please let me know.   I would be delighted to share more.  This whole journey has been such a blessing to me and my family and I would love to share it with you!  Part of my heartbeat is helping mamas who want to be able to be home find a way to make that happen.  Look forward to hearing from you!